Summer of discoveries
by Briee
Summary: When Lily can't stand it at home, she flees to the person she least expects. James is heartbroken and is trying to drink away his problems. When someone in need of help finds their way to his house, everything changes. [Being Retyped] [COMPLETE]
1. James' Birthday

Chapter 1 James's Birthday

It was a normal end-of school for Lily Evans and her friends. They had loaded their trunk onto the platform, and it was stowed away into a luggage compartment. The last thing to do was find a compartment, which they seemed to be having trouble doing.

"I guess we can get into this compartment," said the red-headed Lily, looking inside the car. It looked empty to her eyes.

Laura McLand, her best friend, just shrugged, pushing past Lily with her other friend, Meagan King, following brown-haired Laura. She gave Lily a small smile before she went in.

Sighing, Lily hoisted her bag further back onto her shoulder. She took a deep breath before entering the compartment.

But, upon entering, she noticed that four boys occupied the compartment, and were in the process of making room for the three girls.

Groaning, Lily stood there, unable to decide if she should bolt out the door or sit down on the floor so as to not to have to share a bench with one of the Marauders.

James Potter looked up at the red hair with his hazel eyes, and Lily saw a sparkle behind his glasses. "Evans! It's so nice that you can join us!" he said.

"There was no more room in any compartments," explained Laura, whose long brown hair trailed after her as she rushed to sit down to Remus Lupin.

Remus was a shy and quiet boy, who had been a Prefect with Lily since the year before. They were friends, but only spoke during rounds or during class if they were paired up together. Usually, a nod or smile would pass between them in the hallway s.

Lily had never quite understood why Remus hung around with the Marauders. He was studious and rarely got into trouble, unlike his fellow friends.

Lily, rolling her green eyes, took a deep breath. She sat on a seat by the door, making sure that no Marauders were in close proximity to her.

"Hey, sweet lips. Come sit next to me," said the black-hair Sirius Black, referring to Meagan. She rolled her deep blue eyes, but went to sit next to him. Her short black hair was spiked. "I love your hair like that," he added, obviously flirting with the witch.

"Really?" asked Meagan, gazing up at him adoring eyes.

Sirius nodded, stretching his arm so that it was behind her, resting on the seat. "Yes, you look really cool."

Meagan rolled her eyes yet again in our direction.

She was a female Sirius Black. All the boys drooled over her, just as the girls drooled over Sirius and James.

Meagan smiled and closed her eyes. Her hair changed to a bright pink. "Hey, you're a Metamorphmagus!" said Sirius, startled.

"Duh, why do you think I never had a bad hair day?"

Sirius laughed. "My cousin Nymphadora is one too. Scared the hell out of her mother, my cousin Andromeda, a few times."

Meagan just nodded, uninterested in his life stories.

"So, what did you lot think of our sixth year?" asked Peter Pettigrew, his voice so low, it was almost unheard.

He was the odd one of the group, with brown mousy hair and dark blue eyes that looked almost black, which made Lily think of a rat. Not only was he unattractive (Lily doubted he ever had a girlfriend), he wasn't clever either. He did very poorly actually, and needed constant help from his three friends.

"Sixth year was fine, except for the constant being turned down by the three ladies in here," said Sirius.

Peter shot him a glance. "Um... Sirius? I was asking the girls," he said quietly.

Sirius laughed. "R-ii-ght," he said, expanding the word so that it seemed to have quite a few more I's than normal.

-----

"Hey," said James, coming up behind Lily.

She quickly turned around. "What do you want?"

"I wanted to talk to you," he replied.

"Um, how about no? We've never had a decent conversation, because you always end up asking me out."

"Evans, please just listen." Lily was about to walk away when James grabbed her wrist. "Wait! Please!"

_How dare he touch me! _she though. "James Potter, take your hand off of me this instant or I will slap you," Lily spat angrily.

"No. I want to talk to you," he said softly, his hazel eyes pleading. Lily lifted her arm, prepared to strike him if she had to.

"Take your hand off me."

James shook his head. "Please, Lily, listen to me..." he started, but Lily cut his phrase short by slapping him. It wasn't very hard, since she wasn't able to get enough momentum for one that hurt, but it obviously proved its point; No man held Lily Evans captive. Plus, she knew he wouldn't hit he back... boys just weren't allowed.

He instantly let go, looking really hurt. Lily began walking away. "Lily... you don't get it, do you?" said James, in a very serious voice, calling after the red-head. She heard him saying, probably to himself, "No idea..."

"What the hell was that all about?" asked Meagan, as Lily walked over to her friend.

Lily blinked a few times, puzzled and shrugged. "I have no..." she started to say, but then stopped as she remembered what she had promised. "Oh no."

"What?" asked Meagan.

_Flashback_

"_Lily!" said Remus, running to catch up with Lily, who had just stalked off from the classroom because James had asked her out for the 600__th__ time that year. _

"_What?" she snapped, turning around. Her face softened when she saw Remus standing there. "Oh, Remus. I'm sorry. I thought you were James," she said. _

_Remus chuckled. "Good thing I'm not." _

_Lily smiled. "What's up?"_

"_Um... Lily, I know this may sound like a weird request, but I would like you to be nice to James on the last day of school. See, it's his birthday, and he said that this year, all he wants is for you to be nice to him, a smile or something," said Remus. _

_Lily stared at Remus as if he was crazy. "Me, be nice to Potter?" she asked, snorting._

_Remus sighed. "Yes, that is his only birthday wish." _

"_Isn't it kind of pathetic?" asked Lily. _

"_You do know that James is head over heels in love with you, right?" he asked, trying to convince the red-head._

_Lily shifted uncomfortably. "Well, he keeps saying he loves me, but I don't really believe him." _

_Remus chuckled. "You should hear what he has to say about you. He talks about you non-stop. Sirius even took a peak at his diary. Well, let's just say, his life seems to revolve around you." _

_Lily started at him once again, her brows furrowed in concentration. Finally, she sighed. "I don't believe you, Remus. I know you would do anything for your friends, but to lie for them to me? That's just low." _

_She turned on her heel and walked away. _

"_Lily, I'm not lying! Ask James for yourself! Go steal his damn diary!" he yelled after her, obviously frustrated._

_End Flashback_

"Oh, god. Remus was right," said Lily.

"Right about what?" asked Laura.

"Lily! Come on! We have to go home!" said her father, walking up to his daughter.

"I'll write to you lot, okay?" said Lily, giving her friends hugs, then walked towards her father.

She turned around to get one last look at the train and saw James. He was looking very depressed, even if he had a smile on his face.

The smile was obviously fake.

He turned and saw Lily. He frowned and turned back to his parents.

A wave of guilt washed over Lily as she watched the sad James Potter, with a fake smile plastered to his handsome face, lug his trunk behind his mother. Sirius Black was at his side, saying something Lily couldn't hear.

---

"Mate, leave the girl alone. It's clear that she doesn't want to be with you," said Sirius.

"But, Sirius, I love her. I can't leave her alone. I need to be with her," said James, his eyes shining with tears.

"Look, even Remus tried and it was no use. Here, I'll get you some blonde bimbo that you can snog," Sirius said.

"No," said James, forcefully. "I am not going to snog just anyone in my 7th year at Hogwarts. I'm going to change for Lily. She'll see that I'm not just a pig headed prat."

He looked over at the entrance, having felt a pair of eyes, and notice that Lily was staring at him. He sighed. "The only person I want to snog is Lily Evans."

Sirius sighed. "Mate, your fighting a lost cause."

"Well then I'll die trying."

---

"Lily!" said Marie Evans, rushing towards her daughter. They were the exact same height, 5"5', and both had red hair. Lily had inherited her green eyes from her father.

"Mum! It's so nice to see you! I missed you," said Lily.

"Oh Lily! This is your last summer at home! Henry, we better make this summer extra special," said Mrs. Evans.

Mr. Evans grunted and went into the kitchen.

"Mmpf, the freak is home," said Petunia, Lily's older sister, standing on the last steps of the stairs as if she couldn't be bothered taking the last step to greet her sister.

Petunia had never acceptedthe fact that Lily was a witch. The two sisters couldn't be any more opposite.

Petunia, brown haired and eyed, was tall and skinny. Lily was red-haired and green eyed, shorter and was curvy. Lily also found that Petunia had a rather long neck, which was useful to find out what the neighbors were up too.

"Well, hello to you too sister dear. So nice of you to great me home with such a warm welcome," spat Lily, sarcastically.

Petunia grunted and retreated back into her room. "She's going to be spending some time with Vernon next week, so you only have to endure her for a short time," said her mother, who did not like the fact that her daughters bickered constantly.

"A week is too much, but I rather a week then 2 whole months," she said.

Her mother laughed nervously. "Don't let your father hear you speaking this way," she said.

Lily nodded knowingly.

---

"James, please don't so anything stupid," begged Remus.

"What stupid thing would I do?" asked James, as he took another sip of firewhiskey. The strength of the alcohol made him grimace, but he continued to drink.

"Maybe something like drink yourself to death?" said Sirius, who took the bottle from his friend's hand and took a sip, making the same face James had.

"Give that back," James growled.

"Man, you're too high strung," said Sirius, who took another sip. Another grimace followed.

James flung himself towards Sirius, knocking Sirius to the floor. The bottle of firewhiskey flew into the fireplace, making a small explosion. Remus was fast enough to put a spell upon the fire to make sure it did not damage anything.

James and Sirius had not noticed for they were wrestling on the ground.

James kept trying to hit Sirius in the face, but was unsuccessful. After a well placed hit, Sirius had knocked his friend unconscious.

As he and Remus placed James onto the sofa, Sirius said, "Man, I _hate_ doing that!"

---

"Bye Mother! Bye Father! Freak," she said, giving her parents hugs then stopped at Lily. "I'm glad that after this year, you shall no longer be coming home." Petunia gave her sister a fake and twisted smile.

"Yes, well I'm glad that I won't have to see your horse-face anymore," said Lily, in a sickening sweet voice.

Petunia glared at her sister for a few moments then heard the door bell. "Well, good-bye," she said, before dragging her luggage to the door. She opened it and a very fat man, whom looked a little more like a whale than a man, stood there.

"Ready, dear?" he asked, his voice deep. Petunia nodded. He took her bags and walked away, without saying hello to anyone.

---

As they watched their friend on the sofa, looking peaceful as he slept, Sirius sighed. "How many mornings now has it been that James was passed out on the sofa?"

Remus returned his sighed. "One too many." After a pause, he added, "James is going to have a nasty hangover. He wasn't completely over yesterday's one when he started drinking again."

Sirius nodded. "We need to hide all the alcohol."

Remus smiled. "Yes, and use lots and lots of coffee."

---

It was a quiet evening in the Evans' household. Only Lily and her father were home, and they were in separate rooms.

"Lily, come here!" said Mr. Evans, calling up the stairs from his perch in the living room.

"Yes Dad?" asked Lily, slowly making her way down the stairs.

"Get me another glass of ale."

Lily sighed. "Dad, you've drunk about 7 of them already," she said, trying to hint that it he had had enough.

"Lily Marie Evans! I am your father and you need to listen to me! Get me another ale!" he yelled.

Lily noticed that his speech was becoming slurred. "Fine," she said, shrugging indifference.

She went into the kitchen and took some water. She added a bit of food flavoring and some food coloring. Hopefully, her father was too drunk to notice that she was not giving him beer.

Almost as soon as she was close enough, he snatched it from her hands and drank about half.

He spit it out right away. "Lily, this is not beer!" he said.

He stood up, throwing the bottle against the wall. Lily backed away, knowing what was coming next.

Her father had abused her and her mother a fair few times when he had been drunk. She was sure he was going to hurt her.

She searched her pockets for her wand when she remembered that it was in her room downstairs in her other trousers that she had worn to church that morning. "Get back here," he yelled at her.

Lily was now officially scared. Her mother had gone grocery shopping, leaving her daughter with her drunken husband.

"No," said Lily, mustering up some courage that wasn't in her.

Her father lunged at her.

Lily yelped and tried to get out of the way, but her father caught her by the arm.

"I told you I wanted ale," he said, his eyes red and narrowing.

Lily could smell the 7 bottles of alcohol in his breath.

"Please, Dad, you're hurting me," she said, tears in her eyes.

"You didn't listen to me, I'm not listening to you," he said, using a childish logic.

Lily struggled to get loose and back up. She pulled on her arm, and her father let go. Lily felt herself tumbling backwards, until she hit the stairs. Her father grunted and walked away from his daughter

The wind was knocked out of her and her sides ached badly. Slowly, she pushed herself up and limped up the stairs into her room. She cried as she packed up her belongings. She forgot that she could heal herself with her wand. She just wanted to desperately to get out, get away from her father. He had caused her so much pain and suffering.

Lily touched her sides and winced. She lifted her shirt and saw a big bruise forming and a few scrapes. Her scars from previous beatings were glowing red.

Lily sighed. She finished her luggage and looked around to make sure she did not forget anything. Taking a piece of paper, she wrote to her mum about what had happened, and that she could no longer take it.

She signed the paper and a tear blotched the "y". Lily grasped the handle of her trunk and Apparated.

**Author's note: I know it's a bit depressing, but the story will get better (well actually, it will get a little bit worse before it gets better). I hope you liked it. Please review!**


	2. Comfort and truths

Chapter 2 Comfort and truths

Lily Apparated in front of Meagan's house, an old brick facade, with ivy growing along the walls. The plant did not cover the windows, thanks to magic, and the windows themselves were giant, although seeing through them from the outside was not possible. It made watching people outside without their noticing far easier than in Lily's neighborhood. The house sat on a large green lawn, and there was a walkway and a car park (Lily didn't think that the Kings had any vehicles or had visitors with some, but then again, she could have been wrong), which was paved with stones. Exotic flowers, trees and bushes that might not have been able to grow normally in England were spread out over the yard, and Lily could see the side of their greenhouse peeking out from beside the house.

All in all, the house was lavish and well taken care of, but then again, that wasn't hard. Meagan and her family were wealthy; that was the reason they lived in that neighborhood... everyone who was anyone of importance lived there.

Lily sometimes envied Meagan for having so many nice things. Her friend had offered to give the red-head some of the things she did not want, and she accepted, although she felt ashamed and embarrassed at being a charity case.

Lily knew she would not be able to buy her own things, for her father never gave her money and the small amount of money her mother gave her was just enough to buy a few chocolate bars. Lily's father was very cheap and had a hard time keeping the same job. She wondered sometimes if one day they would wake up and find that the bank had repossessed all of their belongings.

Lily walked up to the door and rang the door bell. After a few minutes of waiting, a small house elf came to the door. "Hello," squeaked Lola, the house elf. She wore a pink pillowcase and had on a green apron. Presumably there was a charm to tell the elf that the visitor was a witch before she opened the door, because a Muggle would be very surprised to be greeted by an elf.

"Hi Lola. Is Meagan home?" asked Lily.

The small house elf shook her head. "Masters have gone to visit someone at hospital in France," squeaked the house elf. "Masters won't be back for a few weeks," she added.

Lily sighed and thanked the house elf.

Lily walked back towards the road when it started raining. "Damn it!" she said, sighing.

She placed her trunk sideways and sat down on it. She took off her long sleeve shirt, revealing a white tank top, and let the rain fall on her. The coldness of the rain felt nice on her bruised sides and the lump that was now forming on her head. She closed her eyes, enjoying the cool sensation.

"Lily?" asked a deep voice. Lily opened her eyes and saw none other than Sirius Black looking curiously at her.

She groaned. "What do you want?" she asked, closing her eyes again.

"Um... well I notice that you were sitting here in the rain and I thought you might catch a cold."

Lily opened her eyes and looked at him quizzically. "When have you ever given a damn about me?" she asked.

"Since my best friend fancies you," he said, matter-of-factly.

He helped Lily up, much to her distaste, and took her trunk. He couldn't use his wand to levitate it, of course, because they were outside and Muggles might see. "Come inside."

"Inside what?"

"James lives just around the corner. Didn't you know?"

"No."

"Mrs. Potter can make you a nice, hot chicken soup," said Sirius.

Lily walked the half-block but ended up groaning in pain. Her sides were still hurting and she had a suspicion that her ankle might be broken.

"You look like hell Lily, do you need a hand?" asked Remus, coming out of the house with an umbrella.

Lily smiled at him gratefully. "Thanks, both of you," she said genuinely.

Remus helped her into the house while Sirius dragged her trunk. "What the hell is in this?" he asked. "Everything but the kitchen sink?" he added, using a phrase he had heard on a Muggle television show.

"Actually, you're pretty close." After as seconds pause she added softly, "I'm running away from home."

Sirius looked shocked. "But I thought you had the perfect life at home," he said.

Lily snorted. "Yeah, okay then."

"I understand," said Sirius.

"So do I," said Remus.

"What, both of you have gone to refuge at Potter's house?" asked Lily.

"I have. I couldn't stand my mother's insults, my father's disappointment and my brother's constant reminders that he was the loved one," said Sirius. "And don't get me started about Cousin Bella. Plus, they don't like the fact that I'm going to become an Auror and hunt down family members," he added with a laugh.

"What about you, Remus?" asked Lily.

"Well, I just couldn't stand the way my parents seem to talk to me as if I'm going to turn into a werewolf at any second and bite their heads off," he said. Lily had known that Remus was a werewolf since the year before.

"Where's James?" asked Lily, as they walked into the marvelous mansion.

"Hey, you're not calling him Potter!" said Sirius.

"Well duh! If I called him Potter in a house with 3 Potters in it..." said Lily.

Sirius pouted; he was outsmarted. He was just about to add something though, but Remus cut him off. "He's in the drawing room," said Remus.

"Oh, and er... where is the drawing room?" she asked, looking around the room she and two of the Marauders were standing in. It had an enchanted ceiling, just like at Hogwarts, and had many painting and pictures of family members. "Here, I'll show you," said Remus, leading Lily down a hallway.

She glanced curiously at the form of James Potter, sprawled on the sofa and asked, "It's obvious your friend isn't asleep." Seeing that neither Remus or Sirius were going to come up with a lie, she added, "How much has he drunk?"

His black hair seemed to be sticking out in every direction more than usual. Many firewhiskey bottles were on the table, which confirmed Lily's suspicion that James was indeed passed out. "He drank too much," said Remus.

"Is that not the reason people pass out in the first place?" said Lily, who was annoyed that Remus seemed to be avoiding her questions. "Why was he drinking so much?"

"Because he had a bloody awful birthday," said Sirius, coming up behind Lily.

She jumped a bit. "But his birthday was two weeks ago," she said.

"Ya and he's been waking up every morning with a hangover."

Lily looked at the black-haired boy again and a wave of guilt washed over her again. She went to sit next to him and pushed a strand of hair out of his face. Lily noticed that he seemed to have lost weight.

He slowly opened his eyes and looked at Lily. His face seemed to light up. "Too bad this is only a dream," he muttered, closing his eyes once again.

"It's not a dream," whispered Lily.

"Right, the fact that you're showing up at my house with a wet t-shirt is not a dream," he said. Lily looked down at her shirt and realized that James was right. Lily was wearing her white tank top and an orange bra, which was appearing very well thought her shirt. She took out her wand and dried her shirt. She turned around to glare at Remus and Sirius for not telling her, but they were not there.

"_Sirius must have liked it not to tell me_," thought Lily.

James, with his eyes still shut, said, "Okay, if this is not a dream, kiss me."

Lily rolled her eyes. "James Potter, if you don't want me to smack you, I suggest you take that suggestion back," said Lily.

James smiled and shifted, but no sooner had he done that, he groaned and put his hand to his head. "Throbbing... Headache," he mumbled.

His eyes suddenly opened wide, as if a shock had ran through his body.

"Lily, what are you doing here and why are you covered in scratches and bruises?" he asked.

Lily's eyes grew wide. She had forgotten that she looked like she had just been thrown down the stairs, which she had. "I, um... fell," she lied. Quickly picking up her long-sleeve shirt from off the floor, she put it back on before he noticed any other cuts.

James eyed her suspiciously. "Maybe you did for some of these bruises, but Lily, these cuts and bruises look at least a week old," he said, running his fingers around her bruises.

Lily flinched at James's touch, but surprisingly, it felt comforting. She felt calm.

"Um... if you don't mind, I'd rather not talk about it right now."

James nodded. "Come on, I smell chicken soup cooking and I'm starving," he said.

----

"James! You're up, that's good. Oh, and you must be Miss Evans! Remus and Sirius told me that they saved you from the rain," said Mrs. Potter, a plumb but tall woman. She had clear blue eyes and brown hair. Lily guessed that James got his looks from his father.

Lily smiled. "Yes, I was being attacked by the rain and Remus and Sirius were my knights in shining armor," said Lily sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

"Hey! That rain was hard!" defended Sirius.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Sure it was." After a moment, she added "By the way Sirius, did you enjoy looking at my wet t-shirt?"

Sirius laughed uncomfortably.

James glared at Sirius. "Padfoot, where you checking Lily out?"

"Prongs, don't worry," Sirius said. "I was just looking, not touching."

"Sirius Black, I sincerely hope you were not checking out our house guest!" said Mrs. Potter, coming into the dining room, her wand soundlessly gliding the hot soups towards the table.

"Don't worry Mum, I wasn't checking Remus out," said Sirius.

Mrs. Potter rolled her eyes at her adoptive son. "I meant the other house guest and I really hope you were have never checked Remus out," she said, biting back her lip, trying not to laugh.

Sirius had a grin on his face and winked suggestively at Remus. "Well, never is a long time..."

Remus, who looked completely disgusted, moved his chair closer to Lily.

"Boys," muttered Mrs. Potter. With a flick of her wand, she set down the plates in front of everyone.

"Thank you Mrs. Potter," said Lily.

Mrs. Potter smiled. "Your welcome dear," she said, then left the teenagers alone.

----

"James, where am I going to sleep?" asked Lily.

"Mum told me that the house elves put your trunk in the room next to mine," said James. "It's the only one that looks half-decent at the moment."

As they walked around the house, James giving Lily the tour, she exclaimed, "Your house is so big! How do you remember where everything is?"

James chuckled. "It's not that big. Just gotta pull out the maps that we've left lying around," he said, jokingly.

Lily smiled. "Thanks, James."

"What for?"

"For being so nice to me."

James grinned boyishly. "You're welcome."

"I also want to say I'm sorry for making your birthday so bloody awful," she said, her voice low.

James gave her a shy smiled. "It's okay," he said. "Now, about those bruises..."

"Let's talk in private," said Lily, feeling like the paintings and pictures were listening in on their conversation.

"Okay," he said. He pulled her into his room. She lay down on his bed and felt overwhelmed by the sweet smell of James's bed sheets. They smelt so comforting. "Um... Lily?" asked James, unsure if Lily had fallen asleep.

"Mmm?"

"Are you going to tell me?" he asked. Lily sighed and rolled onto her back. James came and lay next to her.

"My dad's an abusive drunk," said Lily, in one breath hoping James did not hear anything she said.

He looked shocked. "Lily, how long has this been going on?" he asked.

"A few years," Lily replied somberly, but shrugging as if it was nothing.

"But...but..." stuttered James, completely lost for words. "Okay, you can stay here for as long as you want. Lily, I promise you this: I will protect you from any harm."

Lily looked in his eyes. He seemed so much more mature than he was a few weeks ago. He looked tired also.

"Thank you James," she said, before burying her head into his shoulders and cried like she never cried before.

**Author's note: How was this chapter? I liked it personally. More reviews please! Re-written for typos and such. **


	3. Willow Tree

Chapter 3

Lily cried and cried until she felt the spot that she had buried herself on James's shirt become very wet. She stopped crying and pulled away from James's embrace.

"I'm s-s-sorry," she said, wiping the tears away.

James gave her a small smile. "Lily, it's fine."

"No, it's not. I should be strong. I don't know why I broke down," she said, stubbornly, sticking out her chin.

"Lily, I said it's fine. Everyone can't be strong all the time," he said, wiping away the remaining tears on her soft face.

Lily gave him a small smile. "Thank you, James. If you don't mind, I'm quite tired. Would you mind if I slept in your bed?"

James shook his head. "Go ahead. I'll go sleep in Sirius's room or something," he said, getting up to leave.

She grabbed his arm. "No, James," she begged, then let go, obviously surprised at her action.

James gave her a smile. "Are you sure that's what you want?"

She hesitated, biting her lip, unsure if she should admit she wanted to sleep in his arms. Finally, she gave in. "Well, only if you don't mind."

"Why would I mind? A lovely girl is asking me to comfort her. Of course I'll stay, and I can promise there will be no funny business."

Lily giggled slightly, moving over to give the raven-haired boy some room on his own bed. He lay next to her and wrapped his arms around her middle.

All of a sudden, a pain gripped her heart, but before she could cry out, everything went black.

----

"Don't they look cute together?" asked Sirius, opening the door to his best friend's room. The two were still sleeping peacefully.

Remus nodded. "They should be together. James can comfort Lily in ways she'll never know and Lily makes James whole."

Sirius for once was being mature. "I really hope Lily realizes that James is for real. He needs to be with her, even if they both don't see how much. I can tell it's tearing him up inside that she hates him." Remus was shocked that his friend was being so caring and not totally immature. Maybe his good ways were starting to rub off on him... "But if she doesn't figure it out soon, we'll have to lock then in a room together and make them snog or something," he added.

"Or not," Remus thought.

-----

Lily woke up and snuggled closer to the warm blankets that seemed to hold her tight. She took a deep breath and smelt something familiar, yet it seemed unfamiliar also. She took another sniff at she knew she had smelt this somewhere before.

It was oh so intoxicating too.

She opened her eyes, prepared to see the darkness on her green walls, but instead was engulfed in a dark material. She quickly realized that she was not at home, and the memories from the night before came back. She now remembered that she was at James's house, and more specifically in his arms. The pain from the night before was forgotten.

She quickly pulled away from James's embrace and noticed his eyes flickering open.

"Hullo," Lily said.

James looked at her awkwardly. "Lily, why are you in my bed?" he asked, though he was smiling sleepily. "Wait, this is just a dream. Too bad," he mumbled before closing his eyes once more.

Lily giggled as she remembered him doing that yesterday when she first arrived. The red-head poked him in the ribs. "It's really me."

James opened his eyes again and he remembered why Lily was there. "See, there was no funny business."

Lily scoffed. "You're right. Now, if you don't mind, please take your hand off my bum."

James blushed lightly and took his hand away. "Sorry," he mumbled. Lily smiled and got out of bed, noticing that she still had the clothes from the night before on, and that she was a little stinky. She was in desperate need of a bath and a change of clothes.

James seemed to know what she was thinking. "How about I show you were the loos are?"

Lily nodded. "Please."

As the two came out of James's room, Sirius popped up seemingly out of nowhere.

"So, what were you two doing last night?"

"Nothing," both said in unison.

"Of course you were!" said Sirius, winking exaggeratedly at Lily.

"Sirius Black, we were not doing anything but sleeping!" She was clearly grumpy that Sirius was bugging her this early in the morning.

"Oh come off it Padfoot. We both saw them last night, asleep," said Remus, coming out of his room.

"Moony!" Sirius exclaimed, "I was trying to bug Evans and there you go and mess it all up."

Remus looked at Lily's annoyed face. "I don't think it was working too well. How about we just go off and let her go about her morning in peace."

"Fine, fine," Sirius grumbled.

-----

After Lily had taken a nice, relaxing bath and changed into a pair of old jean shorts with a thin long sleeve shirt, she made her way downstairs. The boys were already at the kitchen table, talking about the latest Qudditch game.

Mrs. Potter entered, carrying food trays full of breakfast goodies. She placed them on the table, and the boys tried lunging for them. The older woman was quicker than they and they seemed to freeze in mid-grab.

"Lily dear, since you are the guest, I suggest you get the first plate of food. These boys don't seem to know their manners well enough, so they can wait," she told the red-head. In an undertone, she added, "Take as much bacon as you want, because I noticed the boys are getting a little round around the tummy from their constant bacon cravings."

Lily smiled, and pilled up her plate with eggs, scones, bacon (she took an extra helping of the meat under Mrs. Potter's orders), and an assortment of fruit before happily digging in to the wonderful meal. She could feel the eyes of all three boys (whom Mrs. Potter had not unfrozen yet) watch her as she ate her bacon.

Once Lily and Mrs. Potter had finished their eggs and bacon, the older woman unfroze the boys so that they could have their turn at the food. As they fought over who got the last piece of bacon, three owls came soaring through the window, mail attached to their legs. Two went to Mrs. Potter, and the other to Lily.

Mrs. Potter opened the letter that was addressed to her first, reading its content and putting it aside. She then opened the paper and read the front page. Her lips were pursed and her face was turning pale.

Lily didn't notice; she just stared at her letter with shaking hands. It had the Ministry of Magic's seal on the letter and she was fearful as to what the content was. She wasn't underage, so she had not broken any magic laws. She hadn't hurt any Muggles with her magic, so that couldn't be it either. A voice broke through her thoughts. "Lily dear, I think you should open that letter."

"I can't," replied the red-head. "I just can't."

James gently pried it from her grasp, and broke the seal. He read it carefully, his face growing pale, his mouth turned downwards. "Lil, I don't know how to tell you this..."

"They're dead, aren't they?" She had had a feeling. Last night, that pain. They were dying while she indulged herself in the sin of desire, wanting, feeling.

James didn't answer her, so she looked up at him, and he nodded. "I'm so sorry."

Lily grabbed the letter back from his grasp. "I'm not."

And with that, she was out the door.

-----

Lily was usually the type that admired beauty. Real, natural beauty. The Potters backyard could be considered beautiful, yet the red-head did not slow her stride to marvel at it. She was headed straight forwards, not knowing where she was really going, just knowing she was going to get somewhere.

She finally found a willow tree, which looked inviting and friendly. She climbed up the branches until she could go no higher. She sat there for a while, hugging her body close. The crinkled letter was still her in her hand. Before she could stop herself, she read the letter.

There wasn't that much to it. It was informing her that yesterday, her parents were killed around 10 o'clock. They were the only ones home, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had sent his Death-Eaters to go in and kill everyone. When the Ministry got there, there was nothing they could do, blah blah blah. Lily sneered at how sincere it was supposed to sound. She could have gotten more out of the article that was surely in the newspaper this morning.

Suddenly, her face felt wet. Was she crying? She placed her fingers to her face and found that, yes, she was crying. But why? Sure, she felt bad that her Mum was dead; she did truly love her. But her Dad was cruel and mean, not to mention that he had abused her and was an alcoholic who didn't seem to care about anyone or anything besides getting his next ale. Her sister would hate her even more now, when she found out that the death was magic-related.

Lily sobered up, remembering how pathetic her life was. She was free now. She could begin again, start anew. She knew her mother had left a bit of money in a trust for her (her father didn't know about it) and she would be allowed to access it when she turned 18. She would have to wait only a few months.

The red-head looked down at the letter, and with one swift motion, she ripped it in two. Then four, then a few times more before letting the wind carry the tiny pieces of parchment off in whatever direction it was going.

She knew what she had to do. Fate had let this happen. Fate had led her right to James Potter's door. He had welcomed her with (literally) open arms, a warm bed, and food. Maybe he wasn't as bad as she thought he was. Maybe they could call truce, become friends. She could be the fifth (and only girl) Marauder. They could play pranks on the people they disliked while still being the coolest people around.

Maybe she could even learn to love James.

The thought hit her with such force she nearly fell out of the tree.

----

"James, I think you should go after her," Mrs. Potter said.

"But she hates me!"

"If she hated you, why would she stay here and fall asleep in your arms?" asked Remus, speaking too low for Mrs. Potter to hear.

James sighed. "I guess you're right."

"Why don't you go give her a quick snog to let her forget her worries?" suggested Sirius.

"Sirius!" James, Remus and Mrs. Potter yelled in unison, appalled at his suggestion.

"What?" he asked innocently.

"Do not ever let me catch you telling my son that snogging will help someone," said Mrs. Potter. "A girl in mourning is vulnerable, and not to be taken advantage of." She seemed to be the only one who could talk some sense into her adoptive son.

"Yes, Mum," he said, downcasting his eyes.

James sighed and stood up. "I'll go find Lily," he declared.

----

James walked in the direction he had seen Lily walk. He found pieces of paper, lying on the soft grass and followed the trail it made.

Finally, he found the red-headed girl sitting alone in the tree. She was murmuring to herself, and all he could hear was the word, "why?"

"Lily? You up there?" James called out.

"Yeah... you can come up if you feel like it," she called back down to him. In just a few moments, he had scrambled up the tree next to her. "Hullo."

"Hullo." After a moment, he asked her, "How are you holding up?"

She shrugged. "Fine. The only thing I regret is not telling my mother I loved her."

"That's all?" When she nodded, he frowned. "You didn't love your father? Your sister?'

"Once I did. Once, I believed that everything could end up correcting itself. I believed that when I became a witch, I could fix them, make them love me again. I was too young to realize that they never loved me. I was just there, a person whom they lived with. A person to get beer, to be a punching bag, to be blamed for everything that went wrong. I was just the second child, an after thought. My mother was the only one who loved me, and to this day is still the only one to love me."

"Lil, there are many people who love you. Your friends, for one." Lily scoffed at this, but did not elaborate. "Lily, we love you. Remus, Sirius, my Mum, and me. Especially me, Lils. I love you very much."

"And I'm the Minister of Magic."

"Why are you so cynical all the time? Why don't you believe me?"

"Because I'll my life I've been told I'm worthless, that I'm not good at anything, that people don't like me, they just pity me. The only person who truly loved me is dead and gone; I have every right in the world to be cynical."

"I'm not saying you aren't allowed to be angry. I'm asking you if it would be so hard to let someone else love you. To let someone else hold you when you're sad and wipe away the tears from you face. Can't you let me in? I'm desperately trying to find a way inside your heart, to find out who you really are underneath all those layers of anger, mistrust, and unhappiness. I want to find the real you. I know you're in there, somewhere."

"This is who I am, James. I am no one else. If you don't like it, then screw you." Lily jumped down from the tree, her red hair flying after her. She landed with a thump on the ground. James followed her.

"Lily, stop. I'm not finished talking to you."

"Yeah, well I am." She was about to walk away when she felt his hand on her wrist. "Potter, don't you dare hold me back. Let go of me this moment, or I swear I will scream."

"Will you just listen, for a moment?" When she didn't answer him, he added, "please?" He relaxed the grip on her wrist without letting it go completely.

"You have one minute to explain yourself before I blow your head off."

----

In the house, Remus and Sirius had been watching them through binoculars.

"Ha Moony, you owe me 10 galleons!" said Sirius happily, passing the binoculars to his friend.

Remus smiled. "Are you sure about that? You bet that they would start fighting in 5 hours exactly, and look at that! It's been over 5 hours. So you owe me the money."

Sirius pouted. "Fine, here you go!" he grumbled, handing Remus money from his pocket.

"Now, don't you think we should go help them out?"

Sirius laughed. "If you want to get yourself into the fight, be my guest. But I'm not getting my head ripped off, especially since I need it to snog all the girls at Hogwarts."

Remus shook his head. "Is that all you think about?"

Sirius smiled. "You know it!"

----

"Lily, a minute would never be enough to explain my heart. It's so complicated that well, even I don't understand myself. When I'm around you, I get these urges..."

"Potter, don't you dare continue that line of thought!"

"No, no! Not those kind of urges... okay well sometimes, cause obviously, you're a beautiful girl, but I mean... No, Lily wait! Just listen."

"Time's running out for your explanation."

"I love you Lily, whether you realize it or not. I would give my life to save yours, and I would do anything for you to love me back! I would move mountains and stars just for you to smile at me. I know I can be a prat--"

"That's an understatement, more like a toe-ragged--"

"--but that's not the point. The point is, all those other girls at school that I've been with, or glanced at, they were nothing compared to you. I was trying to get over your rejections with other girls, hoping to find one just as perfect, just as amazing and beautiful. But I didn't, Lily. Things turned dark after that."

"Are you trying to guilt me into this? Are you trying to make me pity you? Because I can tell you it's not working. I don't care about your conquests, I don't care what you did to yourself, because as much as you try to play it down, your life is still so much better than a lot of people's, including mine."

"Lily, my life isn't as glamorous as it seems. Just because something seems perfect doesn't mean it is. Just because I play the part of the happy Quidditch Captain, doesn't mean that I am. Just because I don't look depressed, doesn't mean I'm not."

"I highly doubt you cut yourself just to take away the pain. I doubt you wonder every night if maybe tonight's the night you'll finally bleed to death and get it over with because you're too scared to jump off the tower," Lily spat at him.

"I doubt you know what it's like having alcohol poisoning and not remembering why you drank in the first place until you've drank another bottle of firewhisky to ease the fire of your heart. I doubt you know what it's like having friends worry over you every day, wondering if you'll make it through next time around," James retorted.

Lily began laughing mirthlessly. "Believe me, I don't know what it's like having friends worrying. I don't know the harsh taste of firewhisky because I do not want to become my father. But I do know what it's like not wanting to remember, wanting to do what causes you so much pain yet so much relieve. I know more than you know."

With that, she smartly turned her heel, pulling out her wrist from his grasp, and marched towards the house.

"Bloody hell," James swore. When Lily was safely inside, he screamed those words over and over again until his throat was raw.

-----

From inside the house, Lily placed her hand on the window, to cover James' body. "I'm so sorry," she said, before making her way up to her room.

**Author's note:**** Good? ****Bad?**** Okay? Review please and be nice with the flames**


	4. Broken Vase

Chapter 4

James sat near the tree again and tried to make sense of the fight he and Lily had just had. He knew he had messed up, big time at that, but did she believe that he loved her? Maybe, maybe not. James sighed. "I need a Lily handbook," he muttered in frustration.

"That won't do you any good. Lily's too complicated to be put into a book," said Remus, coming up behind James. The raven haired boy looked up and gave his friend a small smile.

"Hullo," said James.

"What were the two of you fighting about?" asked Remus, sitting down next to his friend.

"My profound and undying love for her and her inability to comprehend that someone actually loves her."

Remus smiled. "And how did she take it?"

James sighed. "Like she always does. But this time, I think something was different. I'm not sure how to describe it, but the way she looked at me after, it was almost as if she's starting to believe me."

"That's a good thing," he said.

James nodded. "Yes, it is," he said. And with that, he walked back into the house, Remus following closely behind.

----

Lily sat at her bed, fiddling with the plaster on her wrist. She thought of her latest fight with James. Did he really love her? She had looked into his eyes when he said it, and he seemed so sincere. To Lily, if felt as if James was different somehow, maybe more mature. "More mature?" snorted Lily. "Potter will never become more mature."

"Lily, can I come in?" asked Remus, knocking on Lily's door.

"Sure," she said, pushing down her sleeves and unlocking her door. She opened it and Remus stepped inside.

"How are you doing?"

"Oh, I'm doing better," she said, wiping a tear from her eye. Lily had started to write to her sister, telling her that she would be staying here with James until school started.

"What were you doing?" the werewolf asked, noticing the tear stained piece of parchment on the desk next to the window.

"Oh, I was writing a letter to my sister, telling her I'm staying here and that she'll never have to see me again, after the funeral," Lily stated as if it was a matter-of-fact thing.

"Ah, so I'm guessing the two of you don't get along much," said Remus.

Lily smiled. "Just about as much as Sirius gets along with Regulus and Bella."

Remus chuckled. "I see. Well, I think everyone in this house will agree with you, especially James."

"Remember when I got here, I said that there was three Potters in this house, but no one corrected me that Mr. Potter is dead. Why?" asked Lily.

Remus shrugged. "It wasn't our place to tell, although Sirius was supposed to break the news. He's not very bright sometimes."

Lily laughed. "I can't believe how much you lot make fun of one other."

Remus smiled. "It comes with the territory I guess."

Lily smiled and gave him a hug. "Thank you Remus," she said. Remus was taken back a little, but hugged the girl back nonetheless.

"You're welcome, but why are you thanking me?"

Lily pulled away. "Because you're the only sane one here that I can talk to, besides Mrs. Potter. And I don't think Mrs. Potter would like it too much if I talked about her in a not so nice way."

Remus nodded. "I see," he said. "Speaking of Mrs. Potter, she said that supper will be served in 10 minutes, if you want to eat. If not, she'll try to save you a slice for later." He smacked his lips and rubbed his hands. "Mrs. Potter's home cooked pizza is the best," he added.

Lily smiled. "I think I'll have just one piece."

----

"Oh, good. I thought that James and his friends would have scared you away by now. If he weren't my son, I would have run away a long time ago," said Mrs. Potter.

Lily smiled. "No, they haven't scared me off just yet."

She sat down next to Remus and Mrs. Potter cut her a slice of pizza. Lily looked down at her pizza and felt nauseous. She took a deep breath. The pizza smelt so good, yet to Lily, it was making her feel sick. Maybe she wasn't up to eating as much as she thought she was. She looked and saw that Sirius, Remus and Mrs. Potter were eating their pizza happily, whereas James was taking it slow, and staring at Lily, making sure she was okay. She gave him a weak smile and looked back down at her pizza slice. Another wave of nausea came over her and she got up and ran to the loo.

"What's wrong with Lily?" asked Sirius, watching Lily run away from the table.

"Maybe she was disgusted by the way you eat," said Remus, looking at Sirius's face, which was covered in tomato sauce. Sirius took a napkin and cleaned up the sauce.

"I think she's not feeling well," said James. "I saw her looking rather sick before."

"That's perfectly normal. When your father died, I didn't eat for two weeks anything solid. I didn't expect Lily to eat much," said Mrs. Potter.

James got up. "I'm going to go check on her," he said, before leaving the room.

---

He walked towards the loo and heard Lily sobbing in it. He knocked on the door. "Go away," Lily cried.

"Lily, it's me, James. Please open the door," he said. He heard Lily get up and unlock the door. Her face was pale and tear-stained.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Do I look okay?" snapped Lily.

"I'm sorry. I was just trying to help," James said.

Lily sighed. "Fine."

"Okay." said James. "So, you're not hungry eh? Did Sirius gross you out? Because if he did, all I can tell you is not to look at him while he's eating."

Lily smiled weakly. "I think I'm going to go to bed," she said. She walked out of the loo and proceeded to her room. James accompanied her to her door.

"I'll go tell Mum that you're lying down. If you need anything, you can come and get me in my room, at anytime," James said. Lily smiled and went into her room. James smiled back and walked away. Lily closed the door and sighed.

-----

James walked back downstairs and Sirius was still eating. "Is Lily okay dear?" asked Mrs. Potter.

"Yes, she's okay; she's just lying down," replied James. He looked at Sirius in disgust. "Sirius, how can you still be stuffing your face? I was gone for like half an hour!" James cried, flinging his hands up in the air.

Sirius shrugged. "I'm a growing boy."

James rolled his eyes.

"How much more can you grow?" asked Remus.

"I dunno," stated Sirius, shoving another piece of the cheesy pie in his mouth.

---

"Maybe, just maybe, James can help me out."

Lily was pacing her room, talking out loud to herself. She had always found that when you speak your thoughts, even if no one can hear you, everything seems to be better.

"But how would James help me? He can't bring back my parents, he can't make my sister like me, and he can't make the pain go away... wait. Maybe he can."

Her heart was broken in a million pieces, but _maybe_ James could help her fix it.

---

James lay on his bed thinking of Lily. He had sworn that he would die a thousand deaths for her before she would ever get hurt, but he had failed. He was unable to prevent the heartache Lily was going through, even if she didn't show how much she hurt. James wanted to help Lily through this, but he didn't know how.

When his father died, all he wanted was someone to take away the pain. Make it go away. But James had no idea how to do that to Lily. You could not wave a magic wand and make it go away, even when you had a real magic wand. She was not like him. James thought about ways to help Lily when he heard the door open.

----

Lily had gotten undressed from her clothes and put on her nightgown. The silky material was inches higher than her knees. The top had spaghetti straps and was a pale green. Lily brushed her red hair and took off the plaster, carefully concealing what lay underneath with a spell. What she was about to do was wrong, and she knew it. Yet, somehow, Lily felt like it might be the only that would help her heal.

To Lily, it was a 50/50 chance. She could either heal her heart or break it even more. But, the red-head was willing to take that chance. Nothing could top the feeling of emptiness given to her by the death of her parents. She quietly snuck out of her room and made her way towards James's room. She quietly opened the door and walked in.

----

"Lily? Is that you?" asked James, squinting in the dark.

"Shh, yes it is," whispered Lily. She found her way to James' bed and sat down. She could smell his sheets and she felt her heart leap.

"What's up?" he asked, putting his hand on her shoulder.

Lily took a deep breath. "James, you know before, when you told me that you would do anything to help me?"

James nodded but then realized that Lily probably couldn't see him so he said, "Yes."

Lily took another deep breath. _It's now or never_, she thought. "James, I want you to have sex with me."

James's eyes grew wide and his mouth was hanging slightly open. "What?" he asked, making sure this was not a dream, or a misunderstanding.

"Have sex with me," Lily repeated.

James couldn't believe it. But yet, as he fiddled with Lily's red locks, he knew this wasn't a dream.

"I'm sorry Lily, but I can't," said James sadly. He would love nothing more than to fulfill her wish, but he knew that she wasn't in her right mind. She was grieving.

"What, you don't want to? I thought you loved me! I should have known better than to have asked you," cried Lily.

"Lily, wait!" said James, but Lily wasn't paying attention. She ran out of his room and ran right into hers.

Lily ran into her room and locked the door. "James doesn't love me! I should have known he hasn't changed. All that crap he said about wasn't true! No one likes me. My sister hates me, my parents are dead, the people I thought were my friends turned out to be fakers, but most of all James doesn't love me. He only told me that so that he could brag to everyone that I fell for him! I hate my bloody life!" cried Lily.

She heard a faint knocking on the door and what sounded like James's voice telling her to open the door. But she didn't care. She grabbed the vase on the table and smashed it. She took a particularly sharp shard and held it above her wrist.

"No one would care, no one would notice," she sobbed. With that, she ran the broken vase over her wrist and it slowly began to bleed.

----

James jumped out of bed and ran after Lily, but she had locked the door. James ran back into his room and looked for his wand. "Damn wand is never where I last put it," he muttered, "and how can you do an _Accio_ spell for it if you don't have it in the first place?" He finally found it under his bed and ran back to Lily's door.

He knocked on the door. "Lily, open up. I know you're in there," he shouted.

He heard was sounded like a vase breaking and Lily crying harder. He heard her say, "No one would care, no one would notice."

James pointed his wand at the door and muttered, "_Alohamora!"_ The door opened and the raven-haired boy rushed inside.

Lily's wrists were covered in blood and Lily was shaking, the pieces of the broken vase still in her hand. "I would notice and I would care," he whispered in her ear, before lifting her off the ground, bridal style, and brought her to the washroom.

He put down the seat and sat her down. He took a towel and pressed it softly but firmly on her opened wrists. "Lily, why did you do this?" he asked.

Tears fell from Lily's eyes. "No one cares about me. You said you loved me, but you don't want prove it," she said.

James sighed. He applied some Ditanny, waved his wand and closed off the blood vessels, very thankful that he had learnt that healing spell this year.

The psychology of the situation bothered him more.

Should he tell the others about the attempted suicide, in case she tried again and he wasn't there? But, he came to the conclusion that it was not his place to tell, even if they were his best friends. If she wanted to explain it to them, she could. If she didn't, it didn't matter.

If Lily cared to share with the others, she could do so. If not, he would keep it between them… for now. However, if she tried again though, he might be forced to take some action.

"I didn't mean I didn't want to. All I meant was not tonight. Lily, look at you. You're in a muddle. You've just lost your parents, and your sister doesn't want to see you again. You're not yourself right now. Lily, I don't want to just have sex. Sex is meaningless; it's just the physical act. I want to make love with you, passionate and loving. I want you to be in love with me, not to just love the idea. If I were to have taken up your proposition, we would both feel guilty in the morning and nothing would have been solved."

Lily cried some more. "I'm sorry," she whispered in a barely audible whisper.

But James heard it. He lifted Lily's chin. "Lily, love, never ever scare me like that again. When I saw you slicing your wrist, I felt like I was hit full on with some curse. Lily, I could never live without you."

"You really mean that? You really love me?"

James smiled and wiped the tears from her cheek. "Yes, I do. Don't ever doubt my love for you. If I didn't love you and respect you, we would be, well you know, in my bed right now."

Lily hiccupped and chuckled softly. "Can I at least sleep in your bed with you tonight?" After a moments pause, she clarified her reason. "I don't feel like being alone."

James thought for a moment before replying, "Anything for you, Lily, love."

**Author's note: Yes, a bit dark, or so I think, but things will get a bit better now. Or, at least I think they will. I let my fingers write (okay that sounds weird but whatever) and sometimes things don't turn out the way you planned. Hell, nothing turns out how they planned. Please review and be nice with the flames. Just remember: If you have nothing nice to say, why say it at all?**


	5. Thrown Book

Chapter 5

Lily fell asleep almost instantly, but James was scared. He was scared about what Lily had done, or rather tried to do.

He was also angry.

Angry that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had killed Lily's parents, even if Lily wasn't very close to her father. He was angry that Lily's sister treated her like dirt. But mostly, James was angry that Lily had tried to hurt herself.

Okay, so she lost her parents and her sister hated her. It was a reason, but not a good enough one in his mind.

She had friends, right? But something about the way Lily reacted whenever her two friends were mentioned made James think that there was something wrong. There was no love in her eyes when she spoke of Laura and Meagan. Was there something he was missing?

At least she had him, and the Marauders. He would always be there for her; he loved her after all. And, even though he wasn't always perfect, the bespectacled boy hoped that one day she could see through it all and love him for who he was. To open up to him and show him her pains. He didn't want her to bear all her burdens; after all that happened today, he could only wonder how much pain could cause her to attempt suicide.

James finally fell asleep, but slept fitfully.

----

When Lily woke up, she felt crushed, but soon realized that it was James' arms that were wrapped tightly around her, as if for protection. Her wrist was throbbing, but that pain was almost like a comfort to her; as if to realize that she could still feel, bleed, and ache.

Was she a masochist? The word would mean nothing to most wizards, but she had read about it in Muggle psychology books. Cutting your wrists sounded cracked, but the pain was replaced with endorphins and then pleasure ensured… or so the books said.

Thinking of herself as hungry for endorphins was a lot easy than admitting that she had just tried to terminate her own existence.

James shifted behind her, releasing her for a moment to stretch. She quickly moved away from his body, shivering a little from the loss of heat. She turned around so that she was facing him and noticed him looking slightly confused.

"I'll have to get used to you being here… and waking up next to you," he said sleepily.

Lily bit her lip. "Yeah, me too."

James's eyes didn't have the spark they normally did though, and Lily was just waiting for him to bring up last night.

"Lily, I think we should change those bandages," said James.

"You tried to heal the cuts last night, but you didn't complete the job. I thought you were a great wizard, James."

"Well, I could have if I wanted to, but I thought a constant reminder of what you tried to throw away was a good way for you not to repeat it," replied James.

Lily was angry. "I'll do what I bloody well like. I don't need you to tell me what I should and shouldn't be doing."

"What the hell were you thinking when you cut your damn wrists?" retorted James.

"I was thinking I could get away from it all!" There. She had said it.

"Get away from what? Your parents' death? Don't you get that if you die, You-know-who will win?"

"I don't care about Vold---"

"Don't say the name! Haven't you heard of the locator spell, that finds people who say his name? He's already targeted your family; do you want to bring him here?"

"Coward."

"I'm worried about saving YOUR life!"

Lily groaned. "James Potter, this has nothing to do with you!" she yelled.

"It has everything to do with me! I love you!"

"And I'll believe that when Sirius gets sent to Askaban for killing Peter!" she snapped.

"Fine, be like that. But before you storm off, you should know I don't regret saving your life, and I would do it again." He then lifted Lily off his bed, opened his door with an _alohamora_ spell and set her down in the corridor. "But I would really like it if I didn't have to." He then closed the door on her.

-----

Lily sat blinking at the door for several minutes, before completely understanding what James had said.

"Are you going to knock or just sit there all morning?" asked Sirius, coming up behind Lily. She scrambled up and glared at Sirius. "Nice nighty," he added, smirking.

"Shut up," Lily snapped.

"What? You too nervous to knock? I'll do it!" Sirius said, taking a step forward.

"You knock on that door, and I'll make sure you never have kids, got it?" she warned.

"Oh come on. You wouldn't do that?"

"There are many things I would never think of doing, yet I've done them. Want to test me?" Lily snapped.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Like what? Snog Prongs?" asked Sirius.

"Think about kids."

"Oh, I think I can ward off a sterility spell."

Lily had heard enough, and she didn't need a stupid spell. She kicked him in the privates and cursed at him, Muggle-style. She stormed off leaving a very sore Sirius, on the floor. She opened her door and, just before closing it, made an obscene gesture.

----

James was regretting throwing Lily out. Yes, she was unpleasant to be near right now, but what if, in the privacy of her room, she tried to do herself in again? Nobody but he knew of the danger.

He thus sprang out of bed when he heard someone fall to the ground in the corridor. Worried that something had happened to Lily, he opened the door to find Sirius lying on the floor in front of the door. "What the hell happened to you?" asked James.

"Lily," Sirius groaned.

"Oh, that's a relief." If Lily was beating up Sirius then she was unlikely to be in the self-destructive mood still. "I thought somebody had gotten hurt." And he shut the door on the incapacitated Sirius.

----

"Stupid Potter, stupid Sirius, stupid house, stupid vase, stupid me," mumbled Lily, trying to find more things to call 'stupid'. She had used magic to fix the door and the vase, and changed into a pair of shorts with a tank top and a small jacket. She had decided to stay in her room for the rest of the day, maybe the rest of the week.

It was just plain unluckiness that Meagan wasn't home. She was about the only person that she actually felt liked by; but she also knew that Meagan was Laura's lapdog and if she went to Meagan's, Laura would for sure show up. She was the last person she felt like seeing right now.

She knew she couldn't go home, which was either burnt to the ground, for sale, still swarming with people from the government (whether magic or not) or her sister was living there with her blubber of a boyfriend.

Lily couldn't tell which was worst, and decided not to find out; her sister was sure to tell her at the funeral anyways.

Lily suddenly remembered that the funeral was going to be tomorrow, at their local cemetery. Her parents were to be buried next to their parents. Tears strung Lily's eyes. She got up and went to grab a book from her dresser. She looked at the cover of the book and sighed. "Maybe reading some Nancy Drew stories will make me feel better," she said, to no one in particular. She sat back down on the sofa she had been resting in and opened it. A small note was scribbled on the first page, the blank one.

"_Dearest Lily,_

_We hope that this book will bring you much joy in your 5 __th__ year at school. Think of us, your loving parents, as you read this book. Maybe one day, your father and I can buy you the entire collection. _

_Love,_

_Mother"_

Lily's vision became blurry as she read and re-read the note. _Maybe one day, your father and I can buy you the entire collection_. Tears fell onto her cheeks, though Lily made no effort to wipe them off. She was missing two books to complete her collection. But her parents were never going to be the ones to help her finish it.

Lily sat up, full of pent up anger. She grabbed the book in her hand and threw it as hard as she could at the wall. She sat back down and more tears fell as Lily hugged her pillow closely.

Life was cruel and unfair. It had a strange sense of humor. Pain erupted from Lily's wrists as she ripped off the bandages. She gasped in horror at the scabs forming on her wrists. She had cut herself deeply, worst than most times. A faint memory of James breaking down the door crept into her mind as she stared at her now bleeding wrists.

She knew what she had to do, so she opened her door and walked towards James' room.

She knocked, but got no answer. She knocked once more, but yet he still did not answer.

"He's probably downstairs," she thought. She turned around and bumped right into Remus. "Oh, sorry," she mumbled.

"It's okay Lily... what happened to your wrist?" exclaimed Remus, noticing the now blood-stained sleeves of her jacket.

"Oh, nothing," replied Lily, quickly shoving her arms behind her back. She cursed herself for having forgotten to put on a plaster in her wrists in her haste.

"Lily, that is not nothing. Tell me," Remus insisted.

Lily shook her head. "Can you just go get him for me please?" she asked.

Remus nodded and headed for the stairs, without even asking who _him_ was.

Lily walked back into her room and sat on the couch. The book was still on the floor and Lily had not bothered to pick it up again. Why should she? She knew she would probably just throw it again.

She sighed and rested her head against the back of the sofa. She closed her eyes and felt a longing to be in a certain black-haired boy's arms.

Her eyes suddenly jerked open. "What the hell?" she thought. "I did not just think that!"

James was nothing more than... wait? What was he? He was more than an acquaintance, but he was definitely not her friend.

Or was he?

Lily had no more time to ponder this question, because someone knocked on her door.

----

"Hey James, Lily wants you upstairs," said Remus, sitting down next to Sirius.

James looked up from his cereal that he didn't feel like eating. "What does she want?"

Remus was not sure how to answer that. Cursed with an incurable affliction himself, he could recognize that Lily had attempted suicide by slitting her wrists, and thought it crucial for somebody to be watch her. But he didn't want to snitch on her, either. Unfortunately his pause gave Sirius a chance to be "funny".

"I bet she wants to snog you... or maybe have her way with you!" said Sirius, winking.

James gave him a look of disgust. "Mate, you are insane."

"Well, then how come she was standing at your door this morning in a small nightly?" asked Sirius.

"She was in my room last night," answered James, but immediately regretted saying that.

"Oh! I get it now! You two did it last night!" Sirius exclaimed happily.

James groaned and shook his head. "No, we did not! She...um... felt lonely in her room," lied James, not wanting to repeat his entire conversation with his sick-minded friend.

"Lonely enough to snuggle up with you," retorted Sirius.

"James, I think Lily meant now!" Remus said, worried about the red-head upstairs. James nodded and left the table.

"Hopeless those two," said Sirius, once James had left the room.

"Sirius, think about it. Lily is mourning. She wants to be comforted because her sister couldn't give a damn. How would you feel if you lost everyone but a brother or sister that hated you?" Remus asked. Sirius gave him a look. "Alright, I guess that's a bad example. Okay, let's say that Mrs. Potter were to die and James hated you. Wouldn't you want someone to be there for you?" Remus asked again, trying to get his friend to understand Lily's dilemma.

"I guess," replied Sirius, turning his attention back to his half eaten breakfast. Remus supposed that Sirius would never comprehend throwing HIS life away.

----

"Lily, are you in there?" asked James, knocking on Lily's door.

"Hi James," she said, opening the door.

"Remus told me you wanted to see me."

Lily nodded. "I need help with the bandages. I can't wrap them tightly enough without bleeding all over the place," she said, keeping her gaze on the floor. She knew if she looked him in the eyes, her eyes were going to betray her need for comfort.

He had done so much for her, and all she had done was be mean to him, argue, be nice for two minutes, and then go back to snapping at him.

All in all, she didn't deserve his hospitality.

"Sure, let's go to the washroom," he said, heading towards the washroom.

"James, I'm sorry I've been mean with you," said Lily, sitting on the toilet bowl lid as she had the night before.

"It's understandable Lily. You just lost your parents. I just hope you realize that I'm not the person you think I am," replied James.

Lily gave him a small smile, but quickly sobered. "Thank you James, for everything. Did you tell Sirius and Remus about last night?"

"There you go, and no. It was not my place" he said, putting the finishing touches on her bandages. "Though I think they figured it out on their own."

"Thanks," replied Lily.

She wished he would just heal her already instead of having to go through this whole routine. But she knew if she were to heal herself, like she had done on countless occasions, James wouldn't be able to believe he was helping her.

And at the moment, she didn't exactly feel like telling him that.

----

"So, what did the love birds do upstairs?" asked Sirius, as both came down the stairs.

"Sirius, remember this morning, something involving my foot and you not being able to have kids?" asked Lily. Sirius nodded, paling slightly. "Don't forget it."

Sirius looked a tad bit scared.

"Who knew Lily could scare Sirius," said Remus, laughing.

"Who knew Lily could kick so hard," mumbled Sirius.

---

"James, tomorrow is my parents' funeral. I was hoping you'd come with me," asked Lily, later on in the evening.

James nodded. "Of course I'd come. I was planning on coming anyways. I couldn't leave you alone with your sister. Plus, you might not be able to Apparate by yourself, if you're distraught. We wouldn't want half of you to end up in Spain and the other half in Canada, or some silly little thing like that."

Lily gave him a small smile and went back into her room.

**Author's note: Like it? By the way, this story isn't supposed to be hilariously funny. Some people have told me to add funny, but it's angsty. Be gentle on the flames. If you don't like my story, don't tell me! Keep evil comments to yourself!**


	6. Funeral and Slaps

Chapter 6

Lily did not sleep very well that night. Once more, she found herself dreaming of her parents, her sister and James.

When Lily woke up, she automatically looked at her clock next to the bed. It read 7 a.m. Lily groaned and rolled over, but was unable to sleep any longer. After changing into some decent clothes, the red-head made her way down the stairs and into the yard.

She walked over to the willow tree and sat down, laying her head against the hard bark.

Why did she have to endure the funeral today? She knew it would be hell. But she wanted to – no, HAD to- say good-bye to the people who raised her.

She closed her eyes and relaxed, breathing in the crisp morning air, trying to calm her raging thoughts.

---

James woke up, hearing Lily walk past his door. He decided to follow her, at a far enough distance though so that she did not catch him.

He did not want to see Lily hurt again. He loved her too much. Lately, he would follow her with his cloak, but Sirius had taken it last night to go see the girl next door.

He saw her go into the back yard and sit next to the willow tree. She looked so peaceful on the outside, but he knew what ongoing struggle was going on inside of her. James wanted to help Lily so much, yet he did not know how. He was there for her, but she had not told him what she needed.

He quietly walked towards her. He sat down next to her and she opened her eyes.

"Why are you out here this early?" asked James.

Lily stared at his chest. He had forgotten to put a shirt on. "I came out to get some fresh air," she replied, moving her eyes from his chest to his eyes.

"Are you okay?"

Lily scoffed. "Potter, you do realize that today is my parents' funeral? My sister will be there with her blubber for a boyfriend, who will insult and blame me to no end. And the few relatives that I have will be asking all sorts of questions, including if you're my boyfriend. They won't believe me if I say no and if they do, they'll tell me it's because I'm too ugly," she said.

James shook his head. "Lily, don't let any of these things get to you. You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," he said. Lily blushed. "You are and if it will make you feel better, I'll be your pretend boyfriend," he added.

Lily smiled. "Thanks, James." She snuggled closer to him and fell asleep in his arms.

James watched the peaceful-looking girl in his arms sleep. Lily looked so happy, so content. But he knew that that would all go away when she woke up. He wanted to help her so badly, but he did not know how.

----

_James was coming closer to Lily. His arms snaked around her waist. She saw lust, passion and desire in his eyes. She stood there, unsure of what to do. Her common sense was telling her to move away, slap him. _

"Lily."

_But something, in her heart perhaps, was making her stay there. He leaned closer and closer. Their lips were inches from one and other. Her lips were tingling in anticipation. _

"Lily."

_He came closer; their lips were so close together that a hair could not pass through_.

"Lily!"

She opened her eyes and looked around her. James was not in front of her, inches away, but to the side, holding her. She must have fallen asleep. Her lips still tingled for a few moments. What had that been?

A dream of her and James, obviously. Was it the same one she'd been having since the beginning of the summer? She couldn't remember.

Lily quickly pulled herself away from James. "I'd better go get ready for the funeral, she said, then she hurried away.

James watched Lily retreat back into the house and sighed. He had better follow and get ready for the funeral too, even if it was at 10 am.

Lily looked through her clothes and found the perfect dress. She had loved this dress when she bought it. But now, she would not be able to wear it without thinking of today, the funeral. She decided to first take a bath.

Lily turned on the water and waited for the tub to fill. Once the water was high enough, Lily stripped down and got in. She submerged herself, holding her breath until she couldn't anymore and came up for air. She did this a few times to clear her mind before washing her body.

---

James got into his room and lay on his bed. He suddenly sat up when he heard the tub turn on. He realized he had to go to the loo. He quickly got up and went into the hall. Hoping it was Sirius or Remus, James tried the door. Luckily for him, it was unlocked. He hurried in and shut the door.

Lily heard someone come in. "Oh my god! Who the hell is that?" she thought.

She dared not peak out of the curtain.

What if it were Mrs. Potter?

Or Remus?

Or Sirius?

Or even worse, James?

She knew what she had asked him last night, she had remembered that much and what she would have seen if they had followed through. Lily heard the door close once more and she sighed in relief.

After Lily got dressed, she looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes had eyeliner, which made her look even sadder. Her dress was black, and knee-length. It was sleeveless and was a v-neck. She put on her black sandals and headed down stairs.

----

James couldn't decide what to wear. He had to find some Muggle clothes, since Lily had told him that none of the family knew she was a witch. Indeed, he was not sure how the deaths had been explained away, since none of her relatives, except possibly Petunia, knew about Voldamort. He found a pair of his father's old black trousers and a black t-shirt. He looked at his reflection in the mirror. He could not believe he was wearing black once more.

He went downstairs and Remus was sitting in the kitchen, reading a book.

"More studies, Moony? School is practically one and a half months away!" exclaimed James.

Remus looked up from his book. "I'm just reading a fiction book. You know James, it wouldn't hurt you to pick up a book once in a while," Remus said.

"I read!" James defended himself

"Picture books don't count."

Lily came down the stairs and James was waiting for her in the kitchen. Sirius was nowhere to be seen, and Remus was keeping James company.

"Hullo, James," she said.

James jumped a little. "Ah, so I'm James again?"

Lily rolled her eyes. James seemed to be entranced for a few moments.

"Where's Sirius? I haven't seen him yet," asked Lily.

"Miss me, luv?" asked Sirius, coming in through the back door.

Lily rolled her eyes again. "No, I did not. And if you want to call me 'luv' once more, I will not hesitate to hurt you," she said. "So, where were you?"

"Next door," replied Sirius. Lily gave him a look.

"Lily, I don't think you want to know," said Remus. Lily's eyes grew wide and she almost choked on the glass of water she had just began drinking.

At quarter to 10, James and Lily bade farewell to everyone and Apparated.

They arrived at the cemetery right as Petunia and Vernon arrived. Luckily, James and Lily had materialized at the back of the church, so no one saw them arrive. Lily tried to avoid Petunia, but she wasn't able to. Petunia came up to her and began yelling at her.

"How dare you come here! You killed them! You and that freak world you live in! And who is this! Another freak? How dare you bring one to Mum and Dad's funeral!" Petunia screamed.

"I didn't kill them! Dammit, Petunia, the 'freak' who killed Mum and Father was a murderer! He kills people for fun! And James is not a 'freak', nor am I," Lily yelled back.

"Lily, let's go," said James.

"No!" she replied. "I've taken her shit for too long!" Turning back to her sister, she said, "Petunia, I hate you, and you hate me, but let me stay here and bid my parents farewell. You will never have to hear from me again."

"Lily Evans, you are a disgrace to this entire family! I wish you never went to that freak school and I wish you were never born! I wish you had died instead of our parents!" Petunia yelled.

Lily was red in the face. "How dare you!" Lily replied. "Who covered for you all those times you broke something? Who helped you pass Maths? What happened to the sister I had until I turned 11?"

"She died when you got your acceptance to your freak school."

The red-head went up to Petunia and slapped her. Hard.

"Bitch! How dare you touch me!" screamed Petunia. She advanced on Lily and was about to slap her back, when James stepped in.

"Stop it both of you!" he said as calmly as he could. Lily stopped, but Petunia advanced.

James was about to grab a hold of Petunia, when Vernon walked in front of Lily.

"You are to never touch my fiancée ever again!" he said. He was about to strike Lily, when James went in between the two. James was the one to receive the punch.

He wiped off the blood from his nose. He pulled out his wand and muttered a hex. Vernon suddenly grew a piggy tail. He clasped his hands over his big bottom and began jumping about.

James casually flicked his wand and the tail disappeared. "If you ever as so much come near us again, I will make it permanent," he spat. He took Lily by the hand and directed her inside the church.

Inside, Lily gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you James," she said. James gave her a small smile, before sitting down in a pew next to her.

The funeral was long and many people were crying. James held Lily's hand the whole time, letting her squeeze it whenever she needed.

Lily cried silently the whole time, even as she spoke about her parents in front of all their friends. She could not believe this day was actually happening. James was being such a sweetheart. She did not know how to repay him.

After the ceremony, Mr. and Mrs. Evans were buried.

----

Lily and James got home late, for Lily had wanted to go back to her house and grab a few more things, since her sister was going to be living there. But they could not leave as soon as they hoped for some of their friends stopped by, wanting to see how the two girls were.

Only Lily was at the house, for Petunia had returned with Vernon to his parents' house.

Lily had to endure them talking about the mysterious death of her parents. They talked about how much they were a perfect family. It took everything in Lily not to tell them off, tell them about her father's drinking and abuse.

Eventually, James and Lily were able to leave.

-----

Lily was exhausted and fell asleep on the sofa. James brought her upstairs.

He dared not undress her. She would be peeved if he did.

He just laid her in her bed and put the blankets on her.

She stirred slightly as he gave her a kiss on her forehead, before he sat down on a chair. He loved to watch her sleep.

She looked so beautiful laying there, still in her dress, her hair sprawled out, the moonlight reflecting off her.

Eventually James fell asleep in the chair.

----------------------------------------------

**Author****s Note: Thanks for the reviews for the other chapters. Please do remember this is supposed to be an angst fic, not a happy one! Please review, and remember: if you have nothing good to say, why say it at all? **


	7. Bottom of the Lake

Chapter 7

When Lily woke up, she heard the soft breathing of someone next to her. She turned around and found James sleeping on her chair.

She smiled. "He's cute when he sleeps," she thought. She then mentally kicked herself for saying that. She got out of her bed and shook James.

"Get up!"

He stood up fast. "Mooney, it's Saturday. I don't want to study," he mumbled. Lily laughed. James rubbed his eyes and grinned sheepishly. "Morning, luv."

"Morning. Can you get out so I can get dressed?"

"What if I want to watch you dress?"

Lily grabbed her pillow and hit James with it.

"Fine, fine!" he said, putting up his hands. He walked out of her room.

Lily hurriedly got dressed, putting on a pair of shorts and a green tank top. She tied up her hair in a lose bun. She opened her door and James was still standing there. But he had changed his clothes already.

"Is Miss Evans ready to go downstairs for some breakfast?"

Lily gave him a small smile and took his extended arm.

--

Even if Lily always seemed to have a smile ready for everyone, she was extremely distant over the next few days. She would hide out in her room, reading or studying. Sometimes, she would go outside and sit by the willow tree. She would have a book or sometimes a pen and paper. Everybody associated her behavior with the funeral, and, except for James, thought it best to leave her to herself. James was sad for Lily. She was closing up again. He tried cheering her up, and it worked sometimes, but then Lily would go back to her depressed self.

--

Lily flung open the doors to the balcony in her room and sat down. It was raining hard, and Lily was in her nightgown.

Lightning flashed across the sky as Lily broke down and cried. Lily had always been a strong person, but she couldn't do it anymore. Years of hatred and insults thrown at her, rejection and taunting were poured out of her eyes.

She had never cried when she was called a Mudblood.

She never cried when Bella hit her across the face.

She never cried when her friends had dates to Hogsmeade, but not her.

She never cried whenever someone rejected her.

But yet, here and now, under the pouring rain, all the tears she should have shed all those years ago were coming out.

Lily cursed everything and everyone.

James had rejected her once more.

_Flashback_

_Lily knocked on James's door. She heard him say "Come in", so she did. She was prepared to lose herself tonight to James, whether he wanted to or not. _

_James watched her strut in, wearing not much more than her nightgown. He stared at her curvy body before regaining his ability to speak._

_"What's up?" he asked. _

_"Not much," she replied. "But I need you to do something."_

_James was puzzled. She whispered in his ear her demand. James was shocked. "Lily, didn't we already have this conversation a few weeks ago? I'm not making love to you until you're ready."_

_Lily was growing angry. Why wouldn't he just do it and get it over with? It was obvious he wanted her, and Lily didn't want to die a virgin. She pushed him on his bed and began to take off his shirt._

_"Whoa, Lily," he said, gently taking her off of him. "You're too special to me to have this rushed." _

_Lily looked him in the eyes. "So that's it! You are willing to shag any girl that's ready to give it to you, but yet, I'm not good enough. Don't give me that crap about being 'special' 'cause I'm not! Damn it James, just do me already so I can die!"_

_Luckily, she had put a Muffliato spell on the room before entering. _

_James lowered his eyes. "You want to die?" he asked in a low voice. Lily looked away. "You do don't you?" Lily did not reply. "Damn it Lily, answer me!" he said, shaking her lightly. _

_Yet, Lily just lowered her eyes, not willing to reply. "Look at me!" he said sharply, lifting her chin up so she could look him in the eyes. "Why?"_

_"Because I'm already dead on the inside," she whispered. _

_James was hurt. He let Lily go and turned away. "Is that why you tried killing yourself?"_

_"I just didn't want to die a virgin, but it looks as if I have to."_

_She headed towards the door but James stopped her. "Lily, please don't try and harm yourself," he begged. _

_"Get out of my way Potter," she growled. _

_"No," James replied stubbornly. She slapped him hard across the cheek. _

_"I said Move!" she yelled at him. She shoved him out of the way, and made her way back to her room. _

Lily couldn't believe she had fallen for James's lies. She thought he wanted her, so Lily was willing to give him herself. But all this time, James didn't want her. He just saw her as someone who didn't want him, so he had to have her.

Lily looked over the balcony. The lake passed under it. She tried seeing the bottom of the lake but couldn't. This was good, she thought. She walked back into her room.

Lily passed by her mirror and stopped. She glanced at her reflection, her wet, plastered hair, her green eyes, her pale freckled skin, and her dainty lips. She was pretty, she realized, and no matter what anyone thought or said.

Her mother had told her that beauty wasn't everything, that it's what was inside that made a person beautiful or not. Lily suddenly understood that even if inside she hurt, outside, she wasn't showing it. She could get through this, she realized, with or without the help of James.

Why should she throw away everything just because her life was spiraling?

Lily returned outside, to catch one last glimpse at the lake, and to finalize her decision. A bolt of lightning struck the railing and Lily was lurched forward, falling over into the lake with a scream.

--

James could not believe Lily. She had once more came into his room, expecting him to make love to her. He wanted to, badly. But he knew he'd be taking advantage of the grieving girl. With one last sigh, he decided to go talk to Remus. Maybe he could talk some sense into Lily. 

He knocked on Remus's door, which was just down the hall. He heard his friend get up and grumble. Remus opened the door and ran his hand through his hair.

"What do you want, Prongs?" Remus asked.

"I'm worried about Lily," James replied.

"Well, come on in," Remus said.

James sat on Remus's bed. He noticed that Remus's stuff was all over the floor, which was very un-like Remus. But these days, everyone had been un-like themselves.

Well, everyone except Sirius that is.

"What's wrong with Lily?" Remus asked. James told Remus everything, from the first time Lily asked him to sleep with her, up to this time. Remus just nodded his head.

"Lily does seem to be depressed," Remus stated, after James finished his story. "But I never thought she would think suicide an option."

James nodded. "I know. I'm terribly worried that she might hurt herself again."

"Did you go check on her?" Remus asked.

James shook his head. "She slapped me, plus it's raining, so jumping from her balcony is probably out of the question. I also had asked the house elves to take away anything that might be sharp from Lily's room," James said, counting on his hands all of his precaution measures.

"James, you do know that even if it's raining, Lily could still jump from the balcony?" Remus told James. "I read a book once that said that those who really want to end their life don't care about the weather conditions."

James was in shock. "I don't want Lily to kill herself," said James.

Remus patted his friend's hand. "Neither do I. No one in this house wants Lily dead."

All of a sudden, the two boys heard a scream and what sounded like someone falling into the lake. Luckily for them, Remus's room was on the same side as Lily's.

Both boys rushed over to the window just in time to see red hair disappear underneath the lake.

"Lily!" they both cried.

The boys rushed towards the stairs as Sirius came out of his room. "What happened?"

"Lily!" exclaimed Remus, as they passed Sirius. Sirius followed them in confusion.

The three boys rushed out of the house. James dove into the water in search of Lily. He did not know how long she'd been under. Hopefully, he could find her and save her.

He quickly found her red hair plunging deeper and deeper into the lake. With one last effort, he kicked his feet violently and was able to grab Lily's arm. Her eyes were closed and tiny bubbles were escaping from her mouth.

As James pulled her up, he noticed that her eyes remained shut. "This is not good," he thought to himself.

He finally broke the water surface, with Lily at his side. She was unconscious. He laid her down on the grass and checked for a breath.

"She's not breathing," James said.

-­--

**Author's note: Cliffy! Oh, I know I promised myself no cliffies, but I couldn't resist! What do you think of this chapter? Dark, I know. I like this one. Please Review!**

**Contest: Okay, so I'm having a small contest. Whoever wins will get their name put into the story! I would like to ask that with every contest entry (just add it to the review) that you put a name, yours or someone else's, that I can add to the story. Or just your last name.And if you don't feel comfortable with that, well then I'll try and do something with your pen name :)**

**Question: What is Ron's middle name?**


	8. Polkadot bathing suit

**Author's note: I bet some of you want to kill me right now, leaving it at a cliffhanger. But I had just wanted to update so fast that that was the result. I'll try not to put cliffhangers in the future, but I make no promises.**

Chapter 8

"She's not breathing," said James. He had tears in his eyes. He check for a pulse. "She has a pulse," stated James. He sighed with relief. "I'll just grab my wand..." he said, then realized that he had forgotten in the house. So had everyone else, with all the excitement.

"James, do you know how to preform CPR?" asked Remus. James nodded. "I'll have to do that, before she loses her pulse," he said.

He gave the red-head CPR, trying to much not to let the tears in his eyes obscure his vision.

After a few minutes, Lily choked up the water. Her eyes fluttered open and looked around her. James, Remus and Sirius were staring at her. She looked at them for a moment before collapsing into James's arms.

James quickly carried Lily back upstairs, and placed her in his bed. He found his wand on his bedside and dried her off. He conjured more blankets and placed them on her. She shivered a little bit, before falling asleep. James then dried himself.

James watched her sleeping. She had a few scratched on her head, and he had also seen a few on her arms and legs. She was still wearing her skimpy little night gown.

James lay down next to her and held off the urge to hold her tight and never let go.

When he woke up, Lily was still sleeping. He quietly slipped out of bed and made his way over to the shower. He turned the water on hot, trying to warm him up. He was still a little chilled from the night before.

When he got back, Lily was still sleeping. He kissed her forehead and he went downstairs.

He sat down to breakfast and looked up at his mother. She was looking at him intently. "What?" he asked, rather harshly. He had not much sleep the night before and was feeling particularly grumpy at the moment.

"How's Lily?" Mrs. Potter asked. James shifted uncomfortably. "I know what happened last night," she added. James looked at his mother. "Who told you?" James asked gruffly. "Remus, and before you go and massacre him, I pushed him to tell me. He came down after you brought Lily up, and I caught him having something to drink. As you know, Remus is not much of a liar. Plus, he was a bit out of breath, as if he had just ran a mile. Once I coaxes him to tell me, he told me everything," she said. James hung his head. "So it is true?" she asked. He nodded.

"Why?" asked Mrs. Potter. "Lily seems like such a nice young woman." James shrugged. "I don't know," he said. He looked down at his food and sighed. "I'm not very hungry," he said, before excusing himself from the table.

James went back up to his room. Lily was still sleeping. James checked her pulse and her breathing. Everything was normal. She shivered slightly. James conjured what seemed to be the 4th blanket, and placed it on her. He kissed her forehead, like he did whenever he left the room, and made his way to Remus's room.

"So, how is she?" asked Remus, as James sat on Remus's bed. Sirius was sitting on a chair, reading a magazine. "She's breathing, and her pulse is okay. But she's still a little chilled," James replied. "Is she awake?" asked Sirius. James shook his head. "No, but she kept shivering," he replied. "How many blankets do you have on her?" Remus asked. James thought for a moment before answering, "I'm pretty sure it's 5." Remus nodded thoughtfully, before sitting on the bed next to James. "If she becomes colder, try getting an heating pad and put it under the mattress," he told James, who was nodding his head. "I'll go check on her now," he said, before leaving the room.

"He's hopeless," sighed Sirius. Remus smiled. "No, he's in love," he answered. Sirius rolled his eyes. "Who need love when he could have any babe in the school?" Sirius asked. It was Remus's turn to roll his eyes. "Sirius, James knows that, but he still wants Lily. What does that tell you?" he asked. Sirius shrugged. "That he got hit in the head one too many times with a bludger," Sirius joked. "No, that he truly loves her, you idiot," Remus replied. Sirius shrugged once more, before returning to his magazine.

James tiptoed into his room. He saw that Lily was awake, looking scared.

"Hey love," James said. "Hey," said Lily. "Come here." James was puzzled but happily obliged. He knelt down in front of his bed and before he knew it, Lily slapped him. "What the bloody hell is wrong with you woman!" said James, rubbing his cheek. "Do you know what suicide means?" asked Lily. James nodded. "Taking your own life, which I wasn't going to allow you to do," he replied.

"Well, I never asked to be saved!" Lily yelled. She was sitting strait up, her hair messed up. "Well, you never asked not to be saved!" yelled James. "Suicide James! Means that they don't want to live! Means that I don't want to live!" yelled Lily. "But, I do! You might think that life is terrible and you want to get away from the pain, but what about the pain you'll cause other people! What about your friends? What about Remus and Sirius? What about me?" James replied, the anger visible in his voice. "No one would care!" she yelled, a few tear drops falling from her eyes. "I would care," James replied calmly, brushing the tears off of her cheek. Lily collapsed into his arms and began to sob, her whole body wracking. James held her tight, and stoked her hair.

"Lily, why don't you go take a shower," suggested James, after Lily had stopped crying. She nodded and left, not saying another word to James.

"That was some fight you two had," said Remus, as James walked out of his room. "You heard it?" James asked, grimly. Remus nodded. "Hard not to. Plus, it didn't help that Sirius pratically dragged me to the door," Remus added. "Hey!" exclaimed Sirius. James rolled his eyes.

Lily took a hot shower. It felt good against her cuts and scrapes. Her wrists still had the cuts on them, but they were smaller. She washed her hair, trying to get the smell of the lake out of her hair. She finally got out, and wrapped a towel around her. She quickly slipped out of the bathroom and made her way towards her room. She stopped in front of James's room when she heard James and Sirius talking.

"James, please tell me your not insane," said Sirius, barging into James's room. He was picking up a sweatshirt off the floor. "Just because I pick up after myself sometimes doesn't make me insane. You should try it sometime," replied James. Sirius rolled his eyes. "I meant, why do you have to love Evans?" Sirius asked. "Why?" asked James, puzzled at why Sirius was asking him a question that he already knew the answer too.

"Why? Well because I'm curious," Sirius replied. James rolled his eyes but said, "Fine, I'll tell you for the hundredth time. Because she so unique and different. Because she cares more about school than her looks. She doesn't know how beautiful she really is. She cares about everyone else, and she comes last. Because she's not some flaky girl that can't hold a proper conversation. Because she's passionate about what she believes in. She always never lets anything bother her," "Except you," pointed out Sirius. However, James ignored Sirius's comment and continued. "She's always puts her whole heart in whatever she does, and she doesn't care what others think..." "James, okay, okay. I get it," said Sirius, holding his hands up in defeat. James looked at his best friend and shook his head.

Lily, on the other side of the door, gasped. Who knew James thought that much of her? Maybe Remus had been right...

"Hello Lily," said a voice behind her. She turned around quickly and was face to face with Remus. "Oh, hello Remus," said Lily, her cheeks turning crimson red. Remus smiled. "I see you were eavesdropping on James," he stated. "No," said Lily, quickly. Remus raised his eyebrow at Lily. "Oh, fine! Yes, I was. I heard my name come up and I wanted to see what was to be said about me," she said, looking at the floor.

"And what did you hear?" Remus asked. Lily blushed harder, but shook her head. "Something along the lines of 'Lily's amazing, she beautiful, smart and not flaky'?" Remus asked, knowing only too well the speech James told them whenever he talked about the red-head. Lily nodded. "Do you believe me yet?" he asked. Lily looked deep in his eyes. "Yes," she said, before rushing off to her room, her face very red.

Lily quickly got dressed and settled herself on her bed. She looked at her mini calender. Only three weeks before school would start back up soon. Lily sighed. Her friends hadn't written to her yet. It didn't seem right. Nothing was right at the moment. Lily had escaped to James's, Voldemort had killed her parents, James was being nice, Lily was trying to kill herself, and James was saving her. To Lily, all this was not right.

Lily got a craving for some chocolate and decided to go downstairs to find some. She quietly slipped past James's door, and made her way towards the stairs. Hoping that no one was downstairs, Lily made her way to the kitchen.

Once inside the kitchen, Lily was relieved that no one was around. She opened the pantry and found a bar of chocolate. She quickly grabbed it, and went outside for a walk. She sat down by the willow tree, which had now become her favorite spot to sit, and began munching on the chocolate. She looked out to the lake, and memories of the previous night crept into her mind.

Lily shuddered and tried to forget them, but the image of the water coming closer, her screams echoing in the night, would not stop haunting her. She closed her eyes, trying to think of something happier. James suddenly popped into her mind, making her feel warm inside. Lily gasped and opened her eyes. Her heart was racing. "The image of James did not just do that!" she thought. Lily finished her chocolate bar, then went back inside the house.

She decided she needed to write to her friends. But a voice in the back of her head told her that her friends didn't care. She tried ignoring it, but whenever she put her quill down on the paper, the voice continued to tell her that her friends don't care. Lily, frustrated, deposited her quill and looked around her room. Her eyes fell on a piece of paper.

She went over to it and looked at the paper. It was her suicide note. Lily grabbed the paper and tore it up in a many number of pieces. She went out onto the balcony and threw it. She watched the pieces fly away and land into the water. "Like it knew that that was the way I tried to kill myself," she thought involuntarily. She shuddered at the thought.

She sat down on the balcony and watched as the Marauders came out of the house, all in their swim trunks. Lily couldn't help but blush.

"So James, want to go swimming?" asked Sirius, after James had finished picking the stuff on the floor. "Sure, I guess. I think I'll ask Lily if she wants to join us," said James. "Prongs, do you think that's such a good idea after last night?" Remus asked. James shook his head. "You're right," he said. The boys each went to their own room and changed into their swim trunks.

They made their way downstairs and went out towards the lake, not knowing that a certain red-head was watching them. The put down their towels and waded in. James lazily floated on the top, trying hard not to remember the nights events. He looked up at Lily's balcony, only to find Lily staring at him. As soon as she saw him staring she looked away.

James smiled. She was watching him. Him, James Potter was being watched by the most beautiful girl on the planet. He caught her looking at him again and he motioned for her to come and swim with him. She went inside her room and James wasn't sure if she had saw him.

Lily hastily looked through her trunk and found her swim suit. She put it on and grabbed a towel.

She made her way downstairs and went outside. She saw that James, Remus and Sirius were all staring at her. She had on a white bikini with colored polka-dots on it. James seemed to be almost drooling. She put down her towel and joined the trio in the water.

**Author's note: So, Chapter 8. Finally. It was taking me a while to write this one because I sorta got in trouble and I got less time on the computer. So, the winners to my contest are: **Pontas-Metallika

BoOkWoRmof2005

audreyblaine

spaz82

LilyXJames

maraudersrock77

**Yay to all of you! **


	9. Ice Cream Snogging Ritual

Chapter 9

Lily plunged under water and when she came back up, the boys (mostly James) were still staring at her. "What? Do I have seaweed in my hair?" Lily asked, bemused by all the attention. The three boys shook their head, but continued to stare. Lily rolled her eyes.

Quickly, the boys returned to their splashing about in the water, occasionally wetting Lily. She didn't mind. In fact, she liked splashing the boys back.

"James Potter! Put me down!" screeched Lily, as James picked her up. He grinned evilly, but continued to wade out farther and farther into the lake. Soon enough, the water reached his shoulders, indicating he should stop.

Before Lily could protest, James threw Lily into the water, making a big splash. Lily came up and glared at James."You are so going to get it!" she said, before launching herself at James. He stumbled backwards, and tripped over a rock. He splashed into the water.

When he came back up, Lily was laughing. It had been a while since she had, and, to James, it was like music to his ears.

They continued pushing one and other in the water. Soon after, they were beginning to get hungry and decided to get out of the water.

When James and Lily came inside, both Remus and Sirius were no were to be found. But there was some food on the table, evidently for the two of them.

They ate in a comfortable silence, sometimes glancing at one and other. They finished their lunch and headed off to their rooms to change.

The week flew by, and Lily was in a better mood. She was smiling and even laughing sometimes. She would join the boys in their fun, but she refused to play Quiditch. She was a terrible flyer, and did not feel the need to embarrass herself.

After the everyone had come in from outside, Mrs. Potter was waiting for them in the kitchen. "You've all got your Hogwarts letter!" she said, passing them around to everyone. Lily thanked Mrs. Potter before opening her letter.

She opened the letter and the normal greeting was upon the parchment. She also received the list of spell books needed for the year. "Perfect," she thought grimly, "I don't have enough money to buy all of them." She sighed and looked at the last bit of parchment.

But as she took it out, something else fell out with it. A Badge. Before Lily could pick it up, se heard Mrs. Potter squeal. "James! I cannot believe you've been made Head Boy!" she said. Lily quickly looked in James's direction. He was standing still, holding out the badge in his hand, his mouth slightly ajar. Lily quickly grabbed her badge and hastily tried to hide it behind her back.

Sirius seemed to have noticed Lily's sudden movement. "Whacha got there Lily?" he asked. Lily shook her head and tried to stuff the badge in her back pocket, but Sirius was too fast for her.

After looking at the badge, an evil grin spread across his face. "Jamesie! Guess what Lily got!" exclaimed Sirius, throughly ignoring the death glare James was giving him for having called him 'Jamesie'.

"What?" James snarled. Sirius beamed like a dog that had just found a treasure. "She's been made Head Girl!" Sirius said. James's face softened. "Congratulations Lily!" exclaimed Mrs. Potter, giving Lily a big hug. After Mrs. Potter pulled away, Lily smiled. "Thank you. Congratulations James," said Lily.

James nodded. "Thanks, and you too." "This means a party for the two of you!" said Mrs. Potter, "I'll ask the elves to make something special for the two of you. What would the two of you like?"

Lily thought for a moment, but could not decide what she wanted. "Tacos!" exclaimed James. Mrs. Potter nodded. "How do tacos sound Lily?" she asked. Lily nodded. "That's fine with me," she replied. The elves hurried back to the kitchens to begin supper and dessert.

"Now, I think , maybe we should go to Diagon Alley tomorrow, that way we'll beat the back-to-school crowd," Mrs. Potter thought out loud. Everyone agreed, and went their separate ways.

Lily went to her room, still in shock. She was Head Girl. But, most of all, James had been made Head Boy. Head Boy! Lily had always thought that Remus would make it, or maybe Amos Diggory.

James went to his room, still in shock, He was Head boy. He knew Lily was going to be Head Girl. She was the best at everything. Well, almost everything. She wasn't a very good broom flyer. James smirked. He used to love to taunt her about it, but he saw today that she was fascinate by it. The way she watched Sirius, Remus and James practice.

"So, Mr. Head Boy, I hope you wont be handing out too many detention to your best mates!" Sirius exclaimed. James chuckled. But before he could reply he heard Lily's voice, "He might not, but I will."

Sirius and Remus turned to see Lily, with her hands on her hips. She had a serious look on her face. Sirius looked a tad bit scared. But then Lily began laughing. "Oh, you should have seen the look on your faces!" she said, clutching her stomach. Sirius smiled and picked Lily up.

"Sirius Black! Put me down!" she exclaimed. Sirius smiled. "Nope! For that, you'll have to make it up to us!" Lily groaned. "What must I do?" she asked. "Nothing perverted," she added quickly.

Sirius just grinned evilly. "You have to promise that you'll take away as many points from the Slytherins as possible," he said. Lily rolled her eyes. "Did you think I haven't already thought of that?" she asked. Sirius put her down and hugged her. "Oh love, we'll make you into a Marauder yet!" Sirius exclaimed happily. Lily rolled her eyes, but returned the hug.

"Hey! I want one two!" said Remus, joining the fun. He took Sirius's place in hugging Lily. Lily laughed, but gave Remus a hug also.

"Now, love, it's Jamesies turn!" said Sirius, before rushing out of the room. James launched at him, and was able to trip him. "Hey! What about 5 second rule?" he asked. "That applies to food," said James. "Speaking of food..." said Sirius, before he left, obviously in search of food. "I'll go make sure he doesn't eat all the food," sighed Remus.

"So, do I get a hug?" James asked. Lily laughed, but gave him a hug anyways. As Lily pulled away, James kept his arms around her waist. He was staring deeply in her eyes. Lily's breath quickened as she stared back.

James's face came closer. Lily felt entranced, as if she could not pull away. But she also wanted to be there, in James's arms. She wanted to feel his lips on hers, the passion and love. She found herself leaning in also.

James closed the gap between the two, their lips finally touching one and other. Lily felt as if she were flying. James was too.

All too soon, James pulled away, fearing that she would reject him. But when he looked into Lily's bright green eyes, he saw love. His heart filled with joy. Maybe he finally had her.

But Lily was scared. She was supposed to hate James. She was suddenly feeling like she wanted to be with him, have him hold her tight and never let go. Lily pushed on his chest, and quickly ran away to her room.

James was left standing there, a confused look on his face. Why had Lily just ran away? He decided to go after her.

Lily sat on her bed. She loved him. She was sure. But she was scared. She had never been loved before, never been in a relationship. This was all new to her.

James knocked on Lily's door. To his surprise, she told him to come in. He walked in, and found Lily sitting on her bed looking at him.

"I'm sorry," he told her. "No, James. It's me that should be apologizing," Lily said. James was puzzled. "Why should you be sorry? You didn't do anything," James said. Lily gave him a small smile. "I'm sorry for running away and I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. I... I guess I was just scared," she told him.

"Scared of what?" asked James, trying to find out if she was saying what he was hopping she was saying. "Scared of love," Lily said, in an almost in-audible whisper. But James heard it. He smiled and sat next to his love.

"Lily, you never have to be afraid of love. I promise to love you forever and never hurt you," he told her. Lily looked up at him and smiled. She leaned her head on his shoulder and sighed.

"James, I think I might love you too," she told him. James grinned. "Really? My Lily loves me!" he cheered! He jumped up from the bed, pulling Lily with him. "Come on! Let's go get some ice cream!" he said, somehow getting Lily on his back.

He gave her a ride all the way down stairs, making her laugh. He stopped in the kitchen and put her down. With a flick of his wand, two bowls of double chocolate frog ice cream zoomed into their hands.

They sat down at the table, and James decided to have a bit of fun. He took his spoon and scoop a healthy serving of ice cream. Lily turned to him, and before she could say anything, James had shoved the ice cream in her face.

"Why Lily! I do believe you have ice cream all over your face!" exclaimed James. He leaned forward and said, "Let me get it off." With that, he began kissing off the ice cream, making Lily giggle like mad.

Just then, Sirius and Remus walked in. "Oh! We must be interrupting a snogging ritual with ice cream," joked Sirius. Lily, James and Remus rolled their eyes.

"I see that both of you have come to your senses," said Remus, "especially you Lily. Everyone seemed to know how madly James was in love with you, except you." Lily blushed. "Well, I know now," she said shyly.

**Author's note: Ah, finally! I've been waiting for the longest time to get this chappy written, but some how, I could never figure out what in the world to write. Last night, the scene with James and Lily kissing for the first time, came to me as I was about to fall asleep. Anyways, I've decided that I will have one more chapter, maybe two, depending if I feel like it. But I have absolutely loved writing this story, and you should expect a few more stories like this one from me, but with different characters. Well, ta ta for now! Leave a review please!**


	10. Rock Green

Chapter 10

After breakfast of the next day, everyone Apparated into Diagon Ally. They headed strait to Gringotts.

Once their money was collected, Mrs. Potter left them to go get their own school things, as she needed to buy a few things.

"We will meet back here in two hours, got it? Do not be late!" said Mrs. Potter, "Not even for pretty girls." Sirius laughed. "Now which one of us would do that? James now has a girlfriend, and Remus is too shy... oh wait. That leaves me..." he said, his face falling.

The four 17 year olds walked amongst the streets, talking and laughing. They stopped at Flourish and Blotts first.

"Lily, don't buy too many extra books because I want to spend time with you," said James. Lily laughed. "Don't worry, I don't have enough money for it," she said, then realized what she just said. "What do you mean you don't have enough money?" James asked. "Nothing," Lily replied. "Lily," James said, "if you need to borrow some money, it's fine. You can make it up to me later." Lily blushed, but nodded. "Thanks James," she said, before kissing him softly on the lips.

As Lily, James, Remus and Sirius sat down at the ice cream parlor, James silently took Lily's hand. Lily smiled. Sirius made a gaging sound, even if inwardly he was happy for the two of them.

They heard a voice behind them. "Gaging at your reflection Black?" asked Lucius Malfoy. "No, I was gaging at your ugly face," retorted Sirius. Remus, Lily, James and Sirius started laughing. "And what's this? Potter and the mudblood are holding hands? Now THAT is something to gag about. She must be good in bed Potter, because she's not that appealing. Or maybe she does your homework for you," Malfoy smirked.

Before James could answer, Lily had her wand out, pointing to Malfoy from under the table. A shot of purple light erupted from it, and hit Malfoy. His tongue began growing three, four, five times it's normal size. He began blubbering about, trying to push his tongue back in. He made a rude hand gesture before stalking off, trying to find his body guards.

Lily and the Marauders burst out laughing. "Lily! Where in the world did you learn a spell like that and when will it where off?" asked Remus, trying to catch his breath. Lily thought for a moment. "I learnt it in the library and it will wear off in about a week. We should really find Malfoy because by now, it should have doubled in sized and possibly turned green!" Lily exclaimed.

They quickly paid for their ice cream and pratically ran down the road trying to find Malfoy.

They found him and quietly hid behind a bush. His tongue had turned green, and was turning a horrible orange color.

After they watched Malfoy curse his tongue so much that his face looked almost as bad as his tongue, Lily noted that they should be meeting up with Mrs. Potter soon.

They made their way to the entrance of Diagon Alley, and saw Mrs. Potter waiting for them there.

"For once, you're on time! Lily, honey, I think you're good influence on the boys," Mrs. Potter said, looking at her watch. They disaperated home.

"Oh, James," Mrs. Potter said, just before James and Lily went outside, "Mr. Periwinkle is coming over with his daughter Carmelita." James made a face. "Be on your best behavior," warned Mrs. Potter.

Once outside, Lily burst laughing. "Periwinkle? What's his first name?" she asked. James laughed. "Pierre." Lily laughed harder. "So, it's almost like Rock Green?" James nodded, which sent them into fits of laughter which did not subside for several minutes.

After their laughing fit, the two of them decided to go sit by the lake. Walking hand in hand, the two made their way to the willow tree.

"Lily, what's going to happen when school starts?" asked James. Lily looked startled for a moment. "What do you mean?" she asked. "Well, due to the fact that last year you pratically screamed at me, calling me names that sure would have landed you a detention if it had not been the last day of school, I would have thought that there was no hope for us. But, now, we're together, and I want to know if we will stay together," James answered. Lily smiled. "I'd be a fool to let you go, after everything you've done for me," she replied.

"Is that the only reason you're going out with me? Because I helped you out over the summer?" asked James, not daring to look at Lily in the eyes. Lily frowned. "James, I would never toy with your heart like that, I love you," she said, lifting James's chin so that they were face to face. She kissed him softly on the lips.

"I love you too," James told her, before recapturing her lips with his, kissing her passionately.

James and Lily went inside the house, with only 20 minutes left till Mr. Periwinkle and his daughter arrived. Lily changed into a green skirt and black tank top, whist James changed his shirt to something a little baggier.

Just as the couple came down, followed by Remus and Sirius, the doorbell rang. Mrs. Potter opened the door, and Mr. Periwinkle came in with his daughter Carmelita close behind.

Mr. Periwinkle was a man in his mid-50s, with gray hair. He was around 5'7", and had a rather large nose. He had on a pair of brown pants and a white shirt on. His tie was the color of periwinkle, which almost made James and Lily burst out laughing.

Carmelita did not look much like her father. She was taller than him by a few inches and had long, flowing blond hair. Her blue eyes seemed to sparkle at the sight of James. She was dressed in a white skirt, which, in Lily's opinion, was a tad bit too short. Rose had on a pink spaghetti strap shirt, that also seemed to be just a bit to small for her.

"Mr. Periwinkle, Carmelita, you both remember my son James, and his friend Sirius Black? The other young man is Remus Lupin, another one of my son's friends, and Lily Evans, James's girlfriend," Mrs. Potter said. Lily suddenly got an evil glare from Carmelita. James, who saw this glare, took Lily's hand in his. This seemed to calm the red-head down, but only get the blonde more aggravated.

"Ah, Miss Evans. Is it you whom lost her parents this summer?" Mr. Periwinkle asked. Lily nodded, still a little uncomfortable with the subject. "I'm terribly sorry. I was there afterwards. Had to deal with that sister of yours. Boy, what a temper she's got that one." Lily smiled shyly. "Try living with her," she said. Mr. Periwinkle smiled, and followed Mrs. Potter to the kitchen.

"So, you're the new flavor of the week?" sneered Carmelita. "I'm not a flavor," replied Lily, cooly. "Back off Carmen," said James. She turned to him. "Just remember, when your done with her, you can have a go at me," she said, winking, before stalking off towards the kitchen.

"I don't like her," stated Lily, watching the blonde shake her hips all the way to the kitchen. "Neither do I," James replied. "But she is my mom's friend's daughter." Lily nodded. "I wonder if Lily really is a flavor," Sirius said. Remus, Lily and James looked at their friend quizzically. "What in the world do you mean?" Remus asked. "Lily must taste like something. James?" Sirius said. This cause Lily and James to blush.

"I do not know what you're talking about," stated James. "Oh come on! Lily must taste like something!" exclaimed Sirius. Remus began laughing, along with Lily and James. "That's for me to know, and you never ever to find out," James said, who then took Lily into the kitchen, his arm wrapped around her waist.

"Sirius, where do you come up with things like that?" asked Remus, as he and Sirius made their way to the kitchen. "Carmelita came up with it. I just followed it," he stated. Remus rolled his eyes, but stopped talking as they entered the kitchen.

All through supper, Carmelita would send evil glares towards Lily. Lily would ignore them, and James would squeeze her hand in support whenever her could.

After supper, the five 17 year olds went out for a walk. Originally it had only been the four friends, but Carmelita some how got her way and was able to join them.

Carmelita watched James take Lily's hands, and she noticed that Lily had scars on her wrist. They looked much like... suicide. Taking this to her advantage, she said, "I hate people who try to take their own life."

Lily stiffened, but continued to walk next to James. She had tears in her eyes, and moved closer to James.

Carmelita continued, seeing how much Lily seemed to be affected. "They should be grateful for life, and everything in it, like love and friendship. But I guess miserable people want to make other people miserable. That's why they kill themselves, to hurt other."

James glared at Carmelita. "Lily, how about we go off towards the trees?" asked James, desperately wanting to get away from the girl's hurtful words. He could tell it was bothering Lily, and he wanted to protect her. Lily nodded. "Let's go."

Carmelita watched as the two lovers went in the opposite direction, and cursed under her breath. "What did you say Carmen?" Sirius asked, even if he knew what she had said. "Oh, nothing. Just talking to myself," she said, a grin now plastered on her face. Sirius gave her a grin and returned his attention the Remus, who was telling him about a book he read.

"Oh Lily, are you okay?" James asked. Lily nodded, and gave James a hug. "I just hate her. I really do," she said, resting her head on James's shoulder. "I know what you mean. She can be so cruel," he replied, holding her tightly.

The two returned to the group, shortly afterwards. Remus and Sirius were talking amongst themselves, trying to ignore Carmelita. "James!" she cried. "There you are!" James ignored her, and sat next to Remus. Lily sat in his lap. This got more death glares from the blonde.

"Look, I get it that you two are together, but do you really have to be so intimate when there are people around?" asked Carmelita, hoping to be able to tick the red-head off so much, she got a chance at James. "Remus, Sirius, do you two have any problems with Lily sitting on me?" James asked. Both boys shook their head. "There you go!" James said. Lily held back a snigger.

Carmelita just gave James a sickenly sweet smile, and turned her attention to Lily. "Why, Lily, I must ask, why do you have such strange scars on your wrists?" she asked. Lily raised and eyebrow. "Why do you want to know?" Lily retorted. "Oh, I'm just curious," Carmelita replied.

"Curiosity killed the cat," Lily said. Carmelita was confused. "Why did he kill the cat?" she asked, not familiar with the Muggle expression. "It's an Muggle expression," said Lily. "Oh, you're a mudblood?" Carmelita said. Lily's facial expression did not change, being immune to the name calling. But James was not as tolerant with the name calling.

"What did you just call Lily?" asked James, the anger dancing in his brown eyes. "Nothing," said Carmelita. "You better hope I never catch you saying that to Lily ever again," he growled.

James, Remus and Sirius made their way back inside, thinking that Lily was behind them, as well as Carmelita. But, when James had gotten up, Carmelita had pulled Lily down.

"What do you want?" asked Lily, annoyed that the blonde did not take her hand off her arm. "I want you to break James's heart," Carmelita spat. Lily laughed. "Right, like I would do that." Carmelita gave Lily an evil smile. "Well, then, I'll help you break his heart," she said. Before Lily could react, Carmelita had pushed Lily into the water and was pushing her head down.

James walked into the kitchen, and turned around, looking for Lily. "Where is she?" he asked, starting to feel uneasy. Remus and Sirius looked around them. "I'm not sure. And where's Carmelita?" Sirius asked. James looked outside and noticed to figures by the lake.

He hastily opened the door and ran as fast as his long legs could take him. As he reached the lake, he could see the outline of someone trying to drown some else.

He knew in his heart that it was his Lily underwater, struggling to live. He got there and tackled Carmelita.

"What the hell do you think your doing?" he asked. Carmelita just smiled. James rushed over to Lily's body, which was on the shore. She was awake and breathing, but it was labored breathing. James picked up her body, and brought her into the house.

"Dear! What happened?" asked Mrs. Potter. "Ask Carmelita. She tried to kill Lily," growled James. He pushed past the stunned looking Mr. Periwinkle and his mother, bringing Lily up back to his room.

"James..." she whispered. "Shush, it's fine. I'm here love," James said, tears in his eyes. He set her down on his bed, and kissed her on her cheek. He dried her off using his wand.

"Sleep with me," Lily said. "Lily, we've gone through this," James said, but Lily shook her head. "No, I mean, sleep," she said, closing her eyes. James kissed her. "I will, but first I'll be right back."

He made his way down, where Carmelita and Mr. Periwinkle were standing at the front door. Carmelita had mascara running down her cheeks, which made her look even scarier than she normally looked.

"Carmen, what do you have to say for yourself?" asked Mr. Periwinkle. "I hope she's dead," Carmelita spat. James glared at her. "I'm terribly sorry James. I'm bringing her to St. Mungo's this moment," he said, shaking his head. And with a _pop_ he and his daughter were gone.

**Author's note: Because of my strange quirk, this story has to have an even number of chapters. So, luckily for you (if you have enjoyed this story), I will be writing two, instead of one, more chapters. If you haven't enjoyed this story, then please do not tell me so. Flames only make me sad :( But nice reviews make me happy :) **


	11. Snitch Boxers

Chapter 11

James made his way back upstairs. He was indeed tiered, and needed to check on Lily. Memories of the previous incident involving water raced through his mind.

When he walked into his room, Lily was fast asleep. James took off his shirt and lay down next to her. She opened her eyes and smiled.

"Hullo," she muttered. "Hey love," whispered James. A blush formed on Lily's face as she noticed that James had no shirt on. "How are you?" James asked. "Fine," Lily replied. "I'm just a bit uncomfortable in your bed with this skirt on." "Take it off," suggested James. But as soon as he said this, he realized how dirty that sounded. "I mean ... um ... you can take your skirt off and... um... borrow a pair of my boxers!" said James, recovering from his uncomfortableness.

Lily laughed. "Okay," she said. James got up, and went to his dresser. He pulled out a pair of black boxers, that had snitches on them.

Lily wiggled around and took off her skirt. She was careful not to let the covers slip off of her. James gave her the boxers and she put them on. It was too dark for Lily to notice the snitches on the boxers.

James got back in the bed with Lily, and she snuggled up close to him. She kissed him on the lips, softly, but James wanted more. Soon, he and Lily were kissing passionately, and James flipped them both, so that he was straddling her. He held her arms above her head.

Eventually, Lily found strength to flip them over. She was now straddling James, instead of the opposite. They kissed until neither could breath.

Lily lay her head against James's chest. She closed her eyes, inhaling that wonderful and intoxicating smell that only belonged to James. It was something like freshly cut oak, and freshly cut grass, with a hit of what smelt like ... bacon? But, no matter what it smelt like, it was, to Lily, the best smell ever.

She fell asleep quickly, still on top of James. James watched as the red-head, _his_ red-head, fell asleep, comfortably on him. He fell asleep hearing her soft breathing.

When Lily woke up, she could still smell the irresistible James smell, but he was no where to be found. Lily took this opportunity to have a good look around James's room.

On the wall next to his bed, he had a poster of the Scottish Saints, a Quidditch team. On the desk beside his bed, there was a picture of James, Remus, Sirius and Peter, all having fun in the lake. Next to it was... a picture of Lily! Lily picked it up, and realized that it was a drawn picture, not a regular picture from a camera. She wondered if James had drawn it himself.

She smiled and put down the picture. She glanced down at her boxers, and realized that they were James. Oddly, they had little golden snitches on them. Lily giggled. Who knew James had Quidditch boxers? Black-mail was in order. Lily then began imagining what other kind of boxers James had, and soon found herself imagining him in them.

A blush spread over her face. Lily lay back down on James's bed, and stared at the ceiling. On it, she could make out her name written in a few places. There also were a few more notes, which Lily could not make out from the bed. She began getting up to looked at them, when the door opened.

"Love, I have breakfast!" announced James. In his hands was a tray filled with pancakes, bacon, fruits, toast and beans. There even was a glass of very chocolaty, chocolate milk.

Lily sat up, and James put the tray on her lap. "Mmm, this looks delicious," Lily said, almost drooling. Lily began to eat some of the fruit.

"James, I know you want bacon," said Lily, after catching him looking at her bacon for the 5th time. James laughed. "You're right. Can I have a piece?" he asked. Lily smiled. "For a price." James raised his eyebrow. "And what would that price be?" he asked. "You have to be my man slave," giggled Lily.

James smiled seductively. "I can do that," he said, before grabbing the bacon and shoving the entire piece in his mouth.

Lily snorted watching James scrunch up his face, trying to chew the entire piece of bacon. Soon, Lily returned to her food, ignoring James pleads for more food.

"You know Lily, you look mighty sexy in my boxers," said James, after he had helped her finish off the breakfast. Lily blushed.

James went downstairs to bring the tray of food. Lily took this opportunity to go get dressed. She put on a pair of green shorts and t-shirt.

Lily walked downstairs, in search of James. She found him in the kitchen, listening to something crazy that Sirius said.

"They were this big! I swear," Sirius said, motioning how big whatever he was talking about was with his hands. "I could not believe that a girl had..." Lily coughed, not wanting to heat what came next. Sirius gave her an embarrassed grin. "Lily! Thank Merlin you're here! Sirius was boring me," said James. "Hey!" protested Sirius. Remus just rolled his eyes.

"James, how about we go for a walk?" Lily suggested. James nodded. "Lily, please, let me come to!" begged Remus. It was unusual for Remus to beg, and Lily was quite surprised. But, she figured, if you had to listen to Sirius's crazy rants almost all the time, you'd do anything to get away.

So, Lily, James and Remus departed for a lovely walk down the street. Sirius had decided that he was still hungry and declined the invitation.

The trio went past the McLand's home, only to find Laura coming out of the house.

"Lily!" cried Laura, running towards her best friend. But Lily was not as warm towards Laura, as Laura was to Lily. Laura flung her arms around Lily's neck, squeezing her tightly.

Lily just patted her friend on the back, in an awkward sort of fashion. But Laura did not seem to notice the awkwardness.

"Oh Lils, I'm so sorry to hear about your parents! How are you? I'm so sorry I didn't write, but I was just so busy!" rushed Laura. Lily raised her eyebrow. "Um... let's see... thank you... fine I guess... and whatever," said Lily slowly, trying to remember everything Laura had said.

"What do you mean 'whatever'?" asked Laura, her face falling. "I mean, that I don't care anymore! You were too busy to write a little hello to see how I was, but you had time to read the newspaper and find out about my parents death?" Lily asked harshly. "No, my father told me," replied Laura.

"So what? You didn't have two minutes to spare just to write a little something on a piece of parchment?" Lily asked. "Well, I was visiting my grandmother in France!" yelled Laura. "It doesn't excuse the fact my parents died and I could have used a friend!" bellowed Lily.

"Well, it seems as though you found someone else to be your friend," smirked Laura. "Don't you dare bring James into this," growled Lily. "So, it's 'James' now? What happened to 'Potter'?" Laura said, raising an eyebrow, smirk on her face.

"Well, due to the fact that James was there for me this summer-" "Oh, and Meagan and I are never there for you?" Laura snipped. "and the fact that I'm going out with him, usually implies that I can call him 'James'," replied Lily, ignoring Laura's outburst.

Laura almost chocked. "You and Potter?" she asked. Lily nodded. "Yes, _James_ and I," Lily replied. Laura was shocked. But, soon her face contorted into a very creepy grin.

"So, you and Potter? Alone together in a big house like that? What oh what is there to do? I bet you've been seeing him in private! I bet you decided to get comforted by your honey," Laura replied, maliciously.

Lily growled. "James and I are not going anything that your dirty mind is thinking of, and I came to YOU when my parents died. But you weren't home! You weren't there when I needed you the most!"

"I wasn't there when you needed me the most? Who was there when you got shoved into the mud in first year? Who was there when Potter turned your hair green? Who was there when Malfoy beat you up? Who was there when you had no one to with to the dance? Who was there for you when your cat died? Who was there as your friend all the time? Me! Me and Meagan!" screeched Laura. "Yes, you were there for all those times, but this is way bigger! The two people who raised me, who loved me no matter what, died! You-know-who killed them!" yelled Lily.

The two girls glared at one and other, faces red. James and Remus made no attempt to split the two girls apart, in fear of causing more damage.

"You might have been there when I was sad that my cat died, but James was there for me when I tried to slice my wrists, he was there when I threw myself of the balcony and into the lake! He was there for me when I thought I should just end my life right there and then! He was at my parents funeral, he was there when Carmelita tried to drown me! He helped me through it all! And he didn't complain once! He didn't expect anything in return!" Lily said, the anger flowing out.

"You tried to kill yourself?" Laura asked, surprised. Her tone had softened, but Lily could still see the anger dancing behind her brown eyes. "Yes, I did. Twice. See theses? Theses are the scars of the vase I tried to cut myself open with," Lily said, lifting her wrist.

Laura's eyes grew wide. "Oh god," she whispered. Tears were forming in her eyes. But Lily felt no remorse for the girl that was once her friend. "You might as well have took the broken piece of vase yourself, because it was really the fact that you weren't there to help me that drove me to do it," Lily whispered in the girl's ear.

For Laura, this was like a slap on the face. So, Laura, slapped Lily physically. "How dare you!" accused Laura. "How dare you accuse me of being an awful friend?" Lily just glared at her. "How dare you make excuses for not being there for me? How dare you not even bother to see how I was doing? My parents died a month ago, and during that time, there was not one second to spare to see how your supposed best friend was?" Lily replied calmly.

Laura raised her hand to slap Lily once more, but Lily caught it. "I would suggest you keep your hands to yourself from now on," Lily said, before letting go of Laura's wrist and turned around.

"James, Remus, let's go," Lily said, walking away from the dumbfounded Laura. Lily grabbed James' hand and the trio walked in the opposite direction.

**Author's note: Like it? I do. All the "you weren't there for me" stuff comes from personal experience.**


	12. The End

Chapter 12

After Lily, James and Remus came back from the walk, Lily went upstairs to take a shower. The two boys sat down in the living room.

"You know James, it seems as if we haven't had a normal conversation in the longest time," said Remus. James laughed. "What's normal to two teenage boys? But, I know what you mean. Now, I'm not complaining, but ever since Lily showed up, our lives have been turned upside down." It was Remus' turn to laugh. "Yeah, you're right. About both things."

"So, how are things with you and Lily?" Remus asked, after a few silent minutes had passed. James thought for a moment, scratched his head and replied, "I'm not too sure. I know Lily told me that we are going to stay together once school starts. I was getting a bit worried that this was just the result of a summer filled with hardship. But... Lily told me she loved me," said James, finally admitting to his friend what Lily thought.

Remus smiled warmly. "Good for you Prongs. I knew she'd get around to it some day," he said. James nodded. "I was just hoping that she would have come to her senses a long time ago."

Lily let the hot water run down her face. With her eyes closed, Lily's thoughts turned to James. A blush spread across her face as a sudden image of James having joined her in the shower crept into her mind.

She pushed those thoughts to the back of her mind as she thought of the matter at hand: her ex-best friends. What was she to do? They shared a dorm, and for sure Meagan was going to hear about Lily's out burst on Laura. Suddenly, Lily remembered something; she had her own dorm as Head Girl! She sighed happily. Maybe this year wouldn't be as bad as she originally thought.

Lily also thought of James, what the year would be like with him. But what if he found some other to get together with, leaving Lily alone in the dark once more? Would he care if she killed herself? Right now, he was the only thing keeping her alive. Alive and... well? Was she really well?

Lily wasn't the happiest woman on earth. She never had been, and she doubt she ever would be. Yes, James did make her smile, laugh, feel great, but what if he got bored of her. Lily's breath quicken its pace. He was known to do things as such.

What if she was just another girl he dated? She had always been "the girl who rejected James Potter", a title which seemed to follow her around the school. She wasn't Lily Evans to them, those... people, animals, horrible excuses for human beings. Only the teachers had known her name, bothered to know it. Her supposed friends of course knew her name, and Lily couldn't forget the Marauders. They, of course, knew her name because of James's "obsession" with her, for lack of better words.

No one had bothered to get to know Lily. She was just the strange bookworm-teacher's pet-girl who turned down James Potter. But wait, if James had been like the rest of them, he wouldn't have bothered to get to know her name, fall in love with her, and make her feel so loved and cared for. Slowly, Lily's breath returned to normal, finally realizing how much James loved and cared for her. James would never leave her... or so Lily hoped.

Lily had gotten out of the shower and rushed to her room. The last thing she needed was Sirius finding her in her towel, which could have been a bit longer if you asked her. She quickly got dress, trying her hair up in a bun, and made her way downstairs.

As she walked down the stairs, she could hear Remus and James having a conversation. She knew it was wrong to eavesdrop, but she just _had_ to know what James and Remus where talking about.

"So, you're not going to leave her, right?" Remus asked. James laughed. "If I left her, I think that you and Sirius would kill me! Of course I'm not going to leave her." Remus smiled, and said, "I think that Lily might be worried a bit that you'll leave her, like all the other girls you dated." James nodded. "I do too. I can see it in her eyes; she's worried I'll hurt her like everyone else has," he confessed. "You're good for her, you know that?" Remus said, turning his attention to the sound on the stairs.

Lily saw Remus turn his head, and she blushed. She had been caught! She made her way down the stairs. James hadn't noticed that Lily was eavesdropping, and, silently, Lily was praying Remus wouldn't tell.

"Hey Lily," said James, as Lily walked into the living room. Lily smiled. "Hello James, hello Remus," Lily answered. She sat next to James, and noticed Remus' smirk.

"What were you two talking about?" Lily asked, noticing Remus's smirk turn into a grin. "You, love," replied James, kissing Lily softly on the cheek. Lily blushed. "Come on, let's go find out what Sirius is doing," said Remus.

That night, as Lily was getting ready for bed, an owl flew into the open window. Curious, Lily went to see whose owl it was. The brown tawny owl was one that Lily had never seen before, and was cautious as she took off the letter from it's leg.

Before she could react, the letter began to shake. Lily realized it was a Howler. All too soon, a voice erupted from the letter. Lily recognized the voice as Meagan's.

"How dare you say that we don't care! Laura and I have always been there for you, no matter what you say!" screamed the voice. "And, how dare you go out with Potter! You hated him, while I fancied him! And, you didn't bother to write to me either, so don't you dare say I didn't care to write! I'm sorry about your parents death, but you don't have to take out your anger on Laura! And, I can't believe you slapped her! And what the bloody hell is this about you trying to kill yourself?" Lily's eyes swelled with tears, and after the Howler called Lily a few names, it was ripped up into pieces.

James, who had heard the Howler, came rushing in the room. "Lily, are you alright?" he asked, as she cried on his shoulder. "Oh James, I know I shouldn't be crying, but Meagan has always been quiet, and with this, it's just pushed me over the edge."

James stroked her hair and tried to calm her down. "You know Lily, it's a bit like what you did to Laura; except this time, it wasn't face-to-face." But that didn't help much. Lily pulled away and slapped James. "How dare you!" she cried. "Lily, I'm just stating the truth! You hurt Laura. Did you really expect that she and Meagan wouldn't do anything to retaliate?" James answered calmly, knowing how to deal with Lily's outbursts.

Lily bowed her head in shame. He was right. Stupid git. "I'm sorry James. I'm sorry for being so emotional, you know, one moment I'm happy, the next I'm sad, and the next I'm angry," Lily said. James lifted her chin and gave her a small smile. "Lily, it's okay. I understand. You're going through a tough time now." Lily nodded and rested her head against James' chest. "Thank you James."

For Lily, James, Remus and Sirius, school seemed to be coming up fats. Mere days were left until school re-started. Even though they were worried about NEWTs (Sirius not as much), they were exited to be finishing school.

"Is that Lily Evans?" whispered a blond-haired boy. "Ya, it is. Her parents died this summer," replied the brunette. More whispers erupted as Lily and James walked onto the train, heading down to a compartment. They were still holding hands, a sight for everyone to see. Many girls shot venomous stares at the red-head, including Laura and Meagan. But Lily was not fazed. She didn't care anymore.

The couple, along with Remus and Sirius, found an empty compartment, and sat down. Peter Pettigrew arrived shortly afterwards and nearly fainted when he saw Lily in the compartment, holding James' hand.

After the train departed from the station, James and Lily made their way towards the Head's compartment. The meeting for the Prefects were about to start.

As soon as the meeting was over, Lily and James headed back to their compartment. As they arrived, they bumped into two girls.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm so clumsy!" said the brunette. She helped Lily up. "Aren't you Lily Evans?" the brunette's friend asked. "Why?" asked Lily suspiciously. "Oh, it's just there were rumours flying around that you were dating Potter. Are they true?" the brunette asked. Lily nodded. "Cool. I just thought they were making stuff up... again! By the way, my name is Audrey Blaine, and this is my friend Jessica Galadriel," Audrey said. Jessica smiled.

"Do you mind if we sat with you? There are no more compartments left," said Jessica, tugging at her dark blond hair. Lily smiled and nodded. "But, you'll have to suffer the raft of Sirius Black."

James opened the door for all three girls, and closed the door behind him. Hopefully, theses girls will become friends with Lily. It would do her good to have some female friends.

For the whole train ride, Lily, Audrey and Jessica talked about many things. Lily felt happier than she had in quite some time. She felt as if these girls and she would be good friends.

Jessica and Audrey promised to save Lily a seat next to them in the Great Hall. She and James needed to check the compartments to make sure no one was left behind. The two made their way to the last carriage, which brought them to the castle.

Lily had known that this year was going to be hard. But, maybe, with the help of a boyfriend and two brand new friends, the year was going to be better than she expected...

_Fin_

**Author's note: Done! It's finally done! Audrey Blaine was the name of one of the winners of the contest, though she had as name audreyblaine (also her pen name. Go check her stories, they're good!). Jessica Galadriel was the result of BoOkWoRmof2005, who had submitted the name Jessica and Pontas-Metallika, who had submitted the name Galadriel. I've already posted in Chapter 8 who won, but I never said what the answer was! For those who didn't know, Ron's middle name is Billius. Strange middle name... Thank you for all who've reviewed, such as kooky, BoOkWoRmof2005, audreyblaine, zippyfox, maraudersrock77, sugur-huny-bun, LilyXJames, and everyone else that have reviewed!**


End file.
